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P. J. O'Rourke

"The First Amendment only says 'Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion.' It can disrespect all it wants."

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"The First Amendment only says 'Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion.' It can disrespect all it wants."

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Akiroq Brost

"We have rule of lawyers, not rule of law. The legal profession has a monopoly over one branch of government as it was never intended to. The American Bar Association owns an entire branch of our government. We should not be surprised that we are the most litigious society in the world. It is big business with a stranglehold on one of the three branches of government."

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Akiroq Brost

"Equity bids us be merciful to the weakness of human nature; to think less about the laws than about the man who framed them, and less about what he said than about what he meant; not to consider the actions of the accused so much as his intentions; nor this or that detail so much as the whole story; to ask not what a man is now but what he has always or usually been."

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Akiroq Brost

"Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy."

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Akiroq Brost

"The current constitutional law places the president of the republic in an embarrassing situation."

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Akiroq Brost

"It was not the president's responsibility to run a law enforcement operation. It was ours."

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Akiroq Brost

"The law. Lady Frances, is an uncertain animal. It has twists and turns that surprise the non-legal mind."

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Akiroq Brost

"The Law of Cause and Effect is as active in your life as the Law of Gravity. It teaches us that for every action there is a reaction."

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Akiroq Brost

"There is no law, there is only conjecture. The Progressive ethos changes the law's meaning according to fad and fashion."

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Akiroq Brost

"Neither the University of Michigan nor its law school uses a quota system."

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Akiroq Brost

"It is within the last quarter century or thirty years. And a lot of that law has turned out to be very, very protective of the press and the public's right to know."

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P. J. O'Rourke
"America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased."

America

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P. J. O'Rourke
"Children must be considered in a divorce considered valuable pawns in the nasty legal and financial contest that is about to ensue."

Legal

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P. J. O'Rourke
"Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power."

Love

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P. J. O'Rourke
"Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce."

Marriage

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P. J. O'Rourke
"The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it."

Government

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P. J. O'Rourke
"In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character."

History

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P. J. O'Rourke
"A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat."

Life

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P. J. O'Rourke
"Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope."

Cows

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P. J. O'Rourke
"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible."

Woman

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P. J. O'Rourke
"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences."

Consequence

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