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"The First Amendment only says 'Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion.' It can disrespect all it wants."
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"The lawyer's world is entire unto itself, the human pared away."
"The corn law was intended to keep wheat at the price of 80s. the quarter; it is now under 40s. the quarter."
"The law-abiding citizen by his labor serves both himself and his fellow man and thereby integrates himself peacefully into the social order. The robber, on the other hand, is intent, not on honest toil, but on the forcible appropriation of the fruits of others' labor."
"HOMICIDE, n. The slaying of one human being by another. There arefour kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, andpraiseworthy, but it makes no great difference to the person slainwhether he fell by one kind or another -- the classification is foradvantage of the lawyers."
"The world is so lawful that not even a single mosquito can touch you, as long as you do not interfere. If your interference stops, everything will stop."
"There's a War Crimes Act in the United States passed by a Republican Congress in 1996, which says that grave breaches of the Geneva Convention are subject to the death penalty. And that doesn't mean the soldier that committed them - that means the commanders."
"The jurist is totally unacquainted with the problem of the value of money; he knows nothing of fluctuations in its exchange-value. The naive popular belief in the stability of the value of money has been admitted, with all its obscurity, into the law, and no great historical cause of large and sudden variations in the value of money has ever provided."
Explore more quotes by P. J. O'Rourke
"The more aspects of life that can be moved from private reign to public realm, the better it is for politics."
"There are a few things that people all around the world need to admit to themselves. Trade restraints slow economic growth, the euro is not a reserve currency, and scoreless sports ties are boring."
"We loved cars until the '70s or so. Then they became appliances. They turned into motorized cup holders. Most of it has to do with urban sprawl. What began as pleasure ends up in necessity, as so many things do."
"People say, 'Oh, politics is so polarized today,' and I'm thinking... '1861, that was polarized.'"
"Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power."
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