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"Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans."
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"Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans."
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Personal Development
"The difference between a Republican and a Democrat is the Democrat is a cannibal they have to live off each other, while the Republicans, why, they live off the Democrats."
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Personal Development
"Tony Rezko and Bill Ayers should lead the Democratic Party. They are the only Democrats with any convictions."
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"The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too."
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Personal Development
"The real problem that I think those of us who are evangelicals and Democrats have to face up to is that the political right controls the religious media."
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Personal Development
"Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with 'Hey, look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.'"
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Personal Development
"Canadians can get Parliament working again. Here's how to do that: elect more New Democrats."
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"As I've said repeatedly, Republicans are very good at describing things in black and white; Democrats are very good at describing the 11 shades of gray."
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"The Democrats and Republicans are the same guy admiring themself in the mirror."
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Personal Development
"I voted Republican this year; the Democrats left a bad taste in my mouth."
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"Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need."
Art
"If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep."
Government
"Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth."
Money
"So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way."
Day
"There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail."
Politics
"Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else."
Funny
"An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh."
People
"All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance."
Ignorance
"Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth."
People
"There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you."
Government
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