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Tim Vine

"So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'"

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"So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'"

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Amber Hurdle

"Oh, the Irish were building the railroads down through Mexico, through Chihuahua. They finished the railroads when they finished out in the West Coast, and they went down and put the trains into Mexico."

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Amber Hurdle

"Every building is a prototype. No two are alike."

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Amber Hurdle

"Five years ago I figured we were at the top of our game and that was the best it was going to get, but with every album it seems to keep on building on itself."

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Amber Hurdle

"We've already seen how it's going to come in, in a truck, like it did at Oklahoma City at the Federal building or it's going to come in by plane, like it did at the World Trade Center."

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Amber Hurdle

"The National Flood Insurance Program is a voluntary program. If a community really feels that the building insurance requirements are too burdensome, they don't have to participate."

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Amber Hurdle

"We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly."

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Amber Hurdle

"It was very unusual to employ prettiness as part of a building."

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Amber Hurdle

"I have often wondered what it is an old building can do to you when you happen to know a little about things that went on long ago in that building."

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Amber Hurdle

"And I also take photos of hydrogen bomb, from another part of the building. It was not part of my job, but I succeeded to go and take photos of the hydrogen bomb."

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Amber Hurdle

"When you arrive in Hiroshima you can look around and for 25 and perhaps 30 square miles you can see hardly a building. It gives you an empty feeling in the stomach to see such man-made devastation."

Explore more quotes by Tim Vine

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Tim Vine
"So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said 'You are.'"
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Tim Vine
"I love acting, but it's all just a bonus."
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Tim Vine
"People ask 'do you make a conscious effort not to swear?' - if you're doing silly stuff you're not tempted to put swearing in. All the comics from my childhood, who were funny without swearing, were the people that influenced me. What I do is quite traditional anyway."
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Tim Vine
"With silly stuff, it's seventy-five percent confidence. I always tell people that it's because I'm nervous about getting that next laugh and I need to hear it. I always want to condense a joke."
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Tim Vine
"I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again."
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Tim Vine
"I sit in places like Costa Coffee in Banstead and write rubbish. I need a deadline. I think about the 44 tour dates and keep imagining standing in front of all these people. Then every day I write 15 jokes minimum."
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Tim Vine
"Now you know those trick candles that you blow out and a couple of seconds."
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Tim Vine
"So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'""
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Tim Vine
"Apparently, one in five people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother, Colin. Or my younger brother, Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin."
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Tim Vine
"Black beauty - he's a dark horse."
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