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"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."
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Personal Development
"When you love someone, you don't care that she ate your sandwich. You only hope she found it delicious."
Author Name
Personal Development
"You know, Aunt Tasha makes jokes about how youE1d actually be a better queen than the others, except sometimes . . . I donE1t think sheE1s joking."
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Personal Development
"A tie is what you get after ice cubes have wrestled with hot water."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Some people make spectacles of themselves with a couple of glasses."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."
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Personal Development
"It's not that I really cheat at golf. I play for my health and a low score makes me feel better."
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Personal Development
"If you're brighter than a lightning bug, don't show your ass."
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Personal Development
"She watched him for a long moment, an adorably annoyed frown wrinkling her forehead. "You're obnoxious when you're right."
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Personal Development
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"They wanted me to play third like Brooks so I did play like Brooks - Mel Brooks."
Humor
"It seems like Satan has thrown the DH into our game."
Sports
"Last year we had so many people coming in and out they didn't bother to sew their names on the backs of the uniforms. They just put them there with Velcro."
People
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