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Andy Van Slyke

"They wanted me to play third like Brooks so I did play like Brooks - Mel Brooks."

Andy Van Slyke, American Athlete
Humor, Brooks, Play
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"They wanted me to play third like Brooks so I did play like Brooks - Mel Brooks."

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Amber Hurdle

"I've accepted the fact I have mental illness but when my imaginary friends start calling me crazy that's where I draw the line."

Stanley Victor Paskavich, American Politician
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"Got a lot of sinful idears--but they seem kinda sensible."

John Steinbeck, American Author
Humor, Sin, Idea, Truth
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"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

John Steinbeck, American Author
Humor, Laughter, Wisdom, Mortality
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Amber Hurdle

"Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness."

Ludwig Wittgenstein, Austrian Philosopher
Humor, Cleverness
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Amber Hurdle

"If they gave him an enema, he could be buried in a matchbox."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown
Humor, Death, Sarcasm, Mortality
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Amber Hurdle

"Pessimist - one who when he has the choice of two evils chooses both."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist
Humor, Pessimism, Evil, Choice, Irony
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Amber Hurdle

"Pardon my French if you're a religious man.''I am,' Bill said, grinning.'Then get outta my cab and go to fucking church,' the cabbie said, and they both burst out laughing."

Stephen King, American Author
Humor, Faith, Truth, Wisdom
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Amber Hurdle

"Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own children in such a way? Youtake delight in vexing me. You have no compassion for my poor nerves.""You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. Theyare my old friends. I have heard you mention them with considerationthese last twenty years at least."

Jane Austen, British Writer
Humor, Marriage, Family, Nerves
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Amber Hurdle

"The educated Southerner has no use for an 'R', except at the beginning of a word."

Mark Twain, American Author
Humor, Beginning, Word
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Amber Hurdle

"Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage."

Ambrose Bierce, American Journalist
Humor, Love, Insanity, Marriage

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"Last year we had so many people coming in and out they didn't bother to sew their names on the backs of the uniforms. They just put them there with Velcro."
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Andy Van Slyke
"They wanted me to play third like Brooks so I did play like Brooks - Mel Brooks."
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