Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!"

John Green, American Author

Humor, Social, Truth, Life

"The real satire starts when I'm shockingly mocked,not mockingly shocked."

Munia Khan, Bangladeshi Poet

Humor, Satire, Criticism, Truth

"CHARTERIS [unfolding his arms in terror] No, please. Dont. As a philosopher, it's my business to tell other people the truth; but it's not their business to tell it to me. I dont like it: it hurts."

George Bernard Shaw, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Philosophy, Truth, Hurt, Irony

"How was I supposed to know 'lucked out' means 'I got screwed over' in Australian?"

Elle Lothlorien, American Novelist

Humor, Culture, Observation, Learning

"I believe the phrase you're looking for is 'too much money and not enough things to spend it on."

Elle Lothlorien, American Novelist

Humor, Wealth, Excess, Irony, Consumption

"Where did you find that one?''I have no idea. I'm a magnet for crazies, I guess.''They must be able to sense a kindred spirit.''Your one to talk. Don't you have more hordes of the undead to lead in a glorious revolution?''Zombies not undead. There's a fine distinction. And no. Right now I'm scouting new talent. The glorious revolution comes tomorrow."

Kiersten White, American Author

Humor, Fiction, Creativity, Observation

"I realized women and humor were linked very closely."

Craig Ferguson, Scottish Comedian

Humor, Women, Life, Creativity

"A good joke doesn't necessarily need appreciation from others. One can freely laugh at one's own deserving jokes."

Pawan Mishra, Indian Author

Humor, Truth, Observation, Happiness

"He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice."

Albert Einstein, German Scientist

Humor, Contempt, Music, Order

"Vampires. Honestly, they're like children sometimes."

Richelle Mead, American Author

Humor, Imagination, Fantasy, Childlike

Explore more quotes by Clive James

"Fiction is life with the dull bits left out."

Life

"Anyone afraid of what he thinks television does to the world is probably just afraid of the world."

Television

"It is only when they go wrong that machines remind you how powerful they are."

Technology

"Disco dancing is just the steady thump of a giant moron knocking in an endless nail."

Dance

"Everyone has a right to a university degree in America, even if it's in Hamburger Technology."

Technology

"A life without fame can be a good life, but fame without a life is no life at all."

Life

"She was good at playing abstract confusion in the same way that a midget is good at being short."

Being

"Even in moments of tranquility, Murray Walker sounds like a man whose trousers are on fire."

Fire

"Whoever called snooker 'chess with balls' was rude, but right."

Humor