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"Whoever called snooker 'chess with balls' was rude, but right."
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"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."
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Personal Development

"And if I talk to him, I'll say something wrong, give something away. I can feel it coming, a betrayal of myself."
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Personal Development

"Kemp: I demonstrated conclusively this morning that invisibility--I.M: Never mind what YOU'VE DEMONSTRATED!--I'm starving, said the voice, and the night is--chilly for a man without clothes."
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Personal Development

"Niagara ... is the first disappointment in the married life of many Americans who spend their honeymoon there."
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Personal Development

"God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!"
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Personal Development

"I always try to cheer myself up by singing when i get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems."
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Personal Development

"When you love someone, you don't care that she ate your sandwich. You only hope she found it delicious."
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Personal Development

"Looking for a wife is like fishing; before you go, make sure you don't have a hole in your net."
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Personal Development

"I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly."
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Personal Development

"Using a metaphor in front of a man as unimaginative as Ridcully was like ared flag to a bu... was like putting something very annoying in front ofsomeone who was annoyed by it."
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"Everyone has a right to a university degree in America, even if it's in Hamburger Technology."
Technology

"It is only when they go wrong that machines remind you how powerful they are."
Technology

"Fiction is life with the dull bits left out."
Life

"Whoever called snooker 'chess with balls' was rude, but right."
Humor

"She was good at playing abstract confusion in the same way that a midget is good at being short."
Being

"A life without fame can be a good life, but fame without a life is no life at all."
Life

"Disco dancing is just the steady thump of a giant moron knocking in an endless nail."
Dance

"Even in moments of tranquility, Murray Walker sounds like a man whose trousers are on fire."
Fire

"Anyone afraid of what he thinks television does to the world is probably just afraid of the world."
Television
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