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"To make money buy some good stock hold it until it goes up and then sell it. If it doesn't go up don't buy it."
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"Sharpen and trust your judgement: learn when spending is a shrewd investment and when it is merely an indulgence."
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Personal Development
"Silver surfers ... nah, that's old hat. Retire a gold surfer with Cosmic Ordering."
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Personal Development
"Some people will each start investing more of their salary on 'their' house and spending less of it on 'their' car or cars only when they start being able to take 'their' house to work, funerals, weddings, etc."
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Personal Development
"Do you want to retire early rich or retire late poor? Cosmic Ordering answers the first question!"
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Personal Development
"Let me give you a tip on a clue to men's characters: the man who damns money has obtained it dishonorably, the man who respects it has earned it."
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Personal Development
"Don't spend your money on luxuries. Save it and secure a safe future. Don't crave for quick satisfaction."
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Personal Development
"Riches will come when you follow Cosmic Ordering."
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Personal Development
"The secret to becoming wealthy and successful is thinking wealthy and successful!"
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Personal Development
"Creditors have better memories than debtors."
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Personal Development
"The only secret of wealth creation is knowing how to use Cosmic Ordering."
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Personal Development
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"Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need."
Art
"If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep."
Government
"Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth."
Money
"So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way."
Day
"There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail."
Politics
"Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else."
Funny
"An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh."
People
"All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance."
Ignorance
"Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth."
People
"There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you."
Government
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