"Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!'"

First, Quotes, Religious, Will

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"Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!'"

Exlpore more First quotes

""Think simple" as my old master used to say - meaning reduce the whole of its parts into the simplest terms, getting back to first principles."

Frank Lloyd Wright, American Architect

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"A little simplification would be the first step toward rational living, I think."

Eleanor Roosevelt, American First Lady

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"If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe."

Carl Sagan, American Scientist

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"The first is last, and the last is first."

Joanna Southcott, English Celebrity

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"In Braille you write your flat sign first and then your note."

George Shearing, British Musician

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"I think Col. North is first a U.S. citizen and he has the same rights as you yourself do, sir."

Fawn Hall, American Celebrity

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"This is certainly not the first case in which a merger approved in one place hasn't gone through in the other. There was a case last year where the merger between two EU companies was approved here and blocked in the U.S."

Mario Monti, Italian Public Servant

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"If you wish to avoid seeing a fool you must first break your looking glass."

Francois Rabelais, French Clergyman

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"A lot of the advertisement is done by saying: first of all, have a complex about who you are."

Isabella Rossellini, Italian Actress

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"Manage yourself first and others will take your orders."

David Seabury, American Psychologist

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Explore more quotes by Conan O'Brien

"Earlier today, Arnold Schwarzenegger criticized the California school system, calling it disastrous. Arnold says California's schools are so bad that its graduates are willing to vote for me."

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"Officials at the White House are saying that President Bush hasn't changed his schedule much since the war started. The main difference, they say, is that he's started watching the news and taping Sponge Bob."

War, Difference, News, President

"President Bush left for Canada today to attend a trade summit. Reportedly, the trade summit got off to an awkward start when the president pulled out his baseball cards."

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"In New York, we had primary elections for mayor. To improve their chances, all five candidates changed their name to Rudy Giuliani."

Elections, Name

"Apparently Arnold was inspired by President Bush, who proved you can be a successful politician in this country even if English is your second language."

Success, Successful, Country, English, Language

"Several hard-core Star Wars fans who had tickets for the first showing actually said that when the movie finally began, they started crying. Mainly because they realized that it's 22 years later, and they still haven't lost their virginity."

Fans, First, Virginity, Years

"CBS news anchor Dan Rather has interviewed Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein. When asked what it was like to talk to a crazy man, Saddam said, 'It's not so bad.'"

Man, News, Talk

"Michael Jackson was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. It caused quite a controversy, because his nose isn't eligible for another fifteen years."

Controversy, Fame, Years

"Scientists announced that they have located the gene for alcoholism. Scientists say they found it at a party, talking way too loudly."

Party, Scientists, Talking

"Yesterday, the Pentagon warned U.S. reporters that they should get out of Baghdad as soon as possible because the U.S. could attack at any time. Then the Pentagon added, 'Whatever you do, don't tell Geraldo.'"

Time, Yesterday