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"Only cops and vampires have to have an invitation to enter."
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"What do you mean? Leslie's voice was cool, as if she questioned witches who were flat on their backs being threatened by werewolves every day."

"Pam. Listen.'The phone is pressed to my ear. Speak.'Appius Livius Ocella just dropped in.'Fuck a zombie!' - Sookie & Pam, Dead in the Family, Charlaine Harris"

"The best time to talk to ghosts is just before the sun comes up. That's when they can hear us true."

"Has made an honest woman of the supernatural."

"I'm going to keep on dealing with the supernatural in a lot of ways."

"Tony, Tony,come around, something's lost that can't be found."

"So crosses don't do anything against your kind?" Sean asked."No," Arland said. "There is no mystical force repelling us.""Then why?""We're forbidden to kill a creature in a moment of prayer or invocation of their deity. Well, we can, technically, but you have to do penance and purify yourself and nobody wants to spend weeks praying and bathing themselves in the sacred cave springs. The water's only a fraction warmer than ice. When one of you holds up a cross, it's difficult to determine whether you're praying, invoking, or just waving it around. So the sane strategy is to back away."

"And, of course, supernatural elements just make a story more interesting."

"You are not what you seem - you're a Sylph - you leave and the air retains your image - you haunt me..."

"The curtains of his bed were drawn aside; and Scrooge, starting up into a half-recumbent attitude, found himself face to face with the unearthly visitor who drew them: as close to it as I am now to you, and I am standing in the spirit at your elbow."
Explore more quotes by Christopher Moore

"Lucien, women are wondrous, mysterious, and magical creatures, who should be treated not only with respect but with reverence, perhaps even awe. Now go sweep the steps."

"Don't be ridiculous, Charlie, people love the parents who beat their kids in department stores. It's the ones who just let their kids wreak havoc that everybody hates."

"On the radio, turned low, Reba sang of hard times with the full authority of a cross-eyed redheaded millionaire."

"It was the sound of a thousand hungry children crying, ten thousand widows tearing their hair over their husband's graves, a chorus of angels singing the last dirge on the day of God's death."

"And I'll have you know that if you hurt my son again, if he so much as sighs sadly over his coffee, I will hire a man, a Russian, probably, to hunt you down and rip all that shiny black hair from your head, then break your skinny arms and legs, and set you on fire, and then put you out with a hammer. And should there be children from your beastly rutting, I shall have the Russian man cut them to tiny pieces and feed them to Madame Jacob's dog. because, although he may be only a worthless, simpleminded, libertine artist, Lucien is my favorite, and I will not have him hurt. Do you understand?"

"But she's a redhead, so she's probably evil, even at her tender age.''I thought you liked redheads.''I do. What's your point?"

"That was supposed to be the whole purpose of the Internet, you know. To share scientific information.''Not a Viagra- and porn-delivery system?"

"Christmas crept into Pine Cove like a creeping Christmas thing: dragging garland, ribbon, and sleigh bells, oozing eggnog, reeking of pine, and threatening festive doom like a cold sore under the mistletoe."
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