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Erma Bombeck

"When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway."

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"When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway."

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Charlotte Eriksson

"Our family, from day one, has only sought the simple truth in this matter."

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Personal Development

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Charlotte Eriksson

"And so I put down some of the things that he said, about keeping your tools sharpened and not letting them lie on the ground where they get hurt or get abused and dirty and can't find them. And some thoughts about how his father used to do things."

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Personal Development

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Charlotte Eriksson

"I'd be a liar if I said I had a normal family."

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Personal Development

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Charlotte Eriksson

"Is it really selling out if it feeds your family?"

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Personal Development

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Charlotte Eriksson

"Blues and jazz pulled me away from what was left of my family."

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Personal Development

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Charlotte Eriksson

"I was a militant smoker, and in my case, I think I particularly used smoking because what I felt was a kind of politically correct big brother assault on smoking."

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Personal Development

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Charlotte Eriksson

"Aeneas carried his aged father on his back from the ruins of Troy and so do we all, whether we like it or not, perhaps even if we have never known them."

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Personal Development

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Charlotte Eriksson

"It has not been an easy cross to bear. It has caused considerable confusion. My husband constantly complained about the awkwardness of being married to a woman whom he called Sister."

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Personal Development

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Charlotte Eriksson

"Nothing is old, nothing is new, save the light of grace underneath which beats a human heart. The way of feeling, of understanding, of loving; the way of seeing the country, the faces that your father saw, that your mother knew. The rest is chimerical."

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Personal Development

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Charlotte Eriksson

"Do not forget you mother, when she is old."

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Erma Bombeck
"It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows."

Car

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Erma Bombeck
"Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely."

Dream

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Erma Bombeck
"There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child."

Christian

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Erma Bombeck
"Never order food in excess of your body weight."

Food

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Erma Bombeck
"When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911."

Nothing

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Erma Bombeck
"The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again."

Reason

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Erma Bombeck
"Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother."

Wisdom

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Erma Bombeck
"I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex."

Life

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Erma Bombeck
"Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it."

Computer

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Erma Bombeck
"It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else."

Dream

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