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"I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper."
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"There is nothing wrong with men possessing riches. The wrong comes when riches possess men."
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Personal Development
"But men are men; the best sometimes forget."
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Personal Development
"The men who followed Him were unique in their generation. They turned the world upside down because their hearts had been turned right side up. The world has never been the same."
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Personal Development
"All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages."
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Personal Development
"Let me embrace thee, sour adversity, for wise men say it is the wisest course."
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Personal Development
"Many men owe the grandeur of their lives to their tremendous difficulties."
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Personal Development
"A vigorous temper is not altogether an evil. Men who are easy as an old shoe are generally of little worth."
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Personal Development
"There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves."
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Personal Development
"Women may fall when there's no strength in men."
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Personal Development
"Men's vows are women's traitors!"
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Personal Development
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"I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper."
Men
"I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'"
Father
"I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming. They don't know I'm only using blanks."
Love
"In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they gave you some."
School
"My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself."
Reason
"Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something."
Dress
"I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was conscious from the top of her head to the tag on her toes."
Night
"My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing."
Computer
"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."
Boxing
"Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil."
Life
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