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"When I got my first television set, I stopped caring so much about having close relationships."
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"Logic takes care of itself; all we have to do is to look and see how it does it."

"Just handle the books gently and you'll get along fine."

"Our generals talk a good game about taking care of their grunts, and the majority of our Beltway politicians bay with moralistic fervor about how they, too, support the troops."
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"I have Social Disease. I have to go out every night. If I stay home one night I start spreading rumors to my dogs."

"Employees make the best dates. You don't have to pick them up and they're always tax-deductible."

"I suppose I have a really loose interpretation of "work," because I think that just being alive is so much work at something you don't always want to do. The machinery is always going. Even when you sleep."

"I'm bored with that line. I never use it anymore. My new line is "In 15 minutes everybody will be famous.""

"I love Los Angeles. I love Hollywood. They're beautiful. Everybody's plastic, but I love plastic. I want to be plastic."

"Since people are going to be living longer and getting older, they'll just have to learn how to be babies longer."
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