"Whatever tears one may shed, in the end one always blows one's nose."

Humor, End, May, Tears

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"Whatever tears one may shed, in the end one always blows one's nose."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"

Anthony Liccione, American Author

Humor, Trust, Mistake, Learning

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."

Michael Bassey Johnson, Nigerian Philosopher

Humor, Comedy, Stupidity, Life, Love

"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Confusion, Logic, Irony

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"

C. JoyBell C., American Author

Humor, Self, Life, Joy

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."

Richelle Mead, American Author

Humor, Dance, Sex, Judgment

"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Women, Needs, Attention

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Weight, Warning, Technology

"Comedy strikes here... just to reduce pressure and depression."

Deyth Banger, American Blogger

Humor, Truth, Power, Wisdom

"They're both bungholes who think they're too noble to shit."

George R. R. Martin, American Author

Humor, Conflict, Judgment, Truth

"She breathed an enormous sigh, looked at Poirot, Looked away, and suddenly blurted out, "You're too old. Nobody told me you were so old. I really don't want to be rude but - there it is. You're too old. I'm really sorry." She turned abruptly and blundered out of the room, rather like a desperate moth in lamplight. Poirot, his mouth open, heard the bang of the front door. He ejaculated: "Non d'un nom d'un nom..."

Agatha Christie, English Writer

Humor, Aging, Appearance, Truth

Explore more quotes by Heinrich Heine

"Like a great poet, Nature knows how to produce the greatest effects with the most limited means."

Nature

"If the Romans had been obliged to learn Latin, they would never have found time to conquer the world."

Time

"It is a common phenomenon that just the prettiest girls find it so difficult to get a man."

Appearance

"Whether a revolution succeeds or fails people of great hearts will always be sacrificed to it."

People

"I have never seen an ass who talked like a human being, but I have met many human beings who talked like asses."

Being

"Sleep is good, death is better; but of course, the best thing would to have never been born at all."

Death

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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."

"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."

"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

"Comedy strikes here... just to reduce pressure and depression."

"They're both bungholes who think they're too noble to shit."

Explore more quotes by Heinrich Heine

"Like a great poet, Nature knows how to produce the greatest effects with the most limited means."

"If the Romans had been obliged to learn Latin, they would never have found time to conquer the world."

"It is a common phenomenon that just the prettiest girls find it so difficult to get a man."

"Whether a revolution succeeds or fails people of great hearts will always be sacrificed to it."

"I have never seen an ass who talked like a human being, but I have met many human beings who talked like asses."

"Sleep is good, death is better; but of course, the best thing would to have never been born at all."

"He only profits from praise who values criticism."

"Oh, what lies there are in kisses."

"Experience is a good school. But the fees are high."

"God will forgive me. It's his job."