"Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die. And when I'm swimming, sometimes I'm not sure which one it is."

Fun,

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"Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die. And when I'm swimming, sometimes I'm not sure which one it is."

Exlpore more Fun quotes

"A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book."

Ernest Hemingway, American Novelist

Fun, Funny, Man, Punishment

"The game is meant to be fun."

Jack Nicklaus, American Athlete

Fun,

"It's funny. All you have to do is say something nobody understands and they'll do practically anything you want them to."

J. D. Salinger, American Novelist

Fun, Funny, Want

"It was a hard job, but it was a lot of fun and I'll always be grateful to Ponch. He was a part of me."

Erik Estrada, American Actor

Fun, Job

"My hair got lighter, and I gradually went blonde. I liked it. Had more fun. But my image of myself in my head is this dark-haired person."

Lisa Kudrow, American Actress

Fun, Hair

"But you know, I always said that no one else on my block was on the radio, and it was fun."

Ed Bradley, American Journalist

Fun,

"I had a lot of fun working with John Candy. We had a pretty good rapport."

Harold Ramis, American Actor

Fun, Pretty, Rapport

"One of the funny things about the stock market is that every time one person buys, another sells, and both think they are astute."

William Feather, American Author

Fun, Funny, Time

"The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible."

David Ogilvy, English Businessman

Fun, Funny, Ideas, Jokes, Thinking

"There's immense fun to be had as long as you can sort of sneak it past DC. I have been told on occasion that I need to have more respect for these characters."

Garth Ennis, Irish Writer

Fun, Past, Respect

Explore more quotes by Demetri Martin

"I like fruit baskets because it gives you the ability to mail someone a piece of fruit without appearing insane. Like, if someone just mailed you an apple you'd be like, 'huh? What the hell is this?' But if it's in a fruit basket you're like, 'this is nice!'"

Ability

"Whenever I'm on my computer, I don't type 'lol'. I type 'lqtm' - laugh quietly to myself. It's more honest."

Computer

"I love women, but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know? Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog. And I went up to her, we started talking. She told me her dog's name. Then I said, 'Does he bite?' She said, 'No.' And I said, 'Oh yeah? Then how does he eat?' Liar."

Love

"People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which they're very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then they're kind of hard to tell apart - especially if the human is kind of hairy."

Car

"A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy."

People

"I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it."

Birthday

"The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades."

Time

"I keep a lighter in my back pocket all the time. I'm not a smoker, I just really like certain songs."

Time

"Saying, 'I'm sorry' is the same as saying, ' I apologize.' Except at a funeral."

Saying

"I noticed that there are no B batteries. I think that's to avoid confusion, cause if there were you wouldn't know if someone was stuttering. 'Yes, hello I'd like some b-batteries.' 'What kind?' 'B-batteries.' 'What kind?' 'B-batteries!' and D-batteries that's hard for foreigners. 'Yes, I would like de batteries.'"

Cause