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"Sometimes people in abusive situations think they're responsible for the other person's happiness or that they're going to fix them and make them feel better. The practice of equanimity teaches that it's not all up to you to make someone else happy."
"I managed to ask a question that had been burning inside me. "Do you still love her? Rose? Along with not knowing what it felt like to be in love, I also didn't know how long it took to recover from love.Adrian's smile faded. His gaze turned inward. "Yes. No. It's hard to get over someone like that. She had a huge effect on me, both good and bad. That's hard to move past. I try not to think about her much in terms of love and hate. Mostly I'm trying to get on with my life. With mixed results, unfortunately."
"It's affirming that we can look at any experience from the fullness of our being and get past the shame we carry."
"When we respond to our pain and suffering with love, understanding, and acceptance-for ourselves, as well as others- over time, we can let go of our anger, even when we've been hurt to the core. But that doesn't mean we ever forget."
"You have shared your secret. I think you will find it to be an unburdening in many other ways. You have very considerable natural advantages. You have nothing to fear from life. A day will come when these recent unhappy years may seem no more than that cloud-stain over there upon Chesil Bank. You shall stand in sunlight-and smile at your own past sorrows."
"When we are in constant pain, we cannot empathize with others, nor can we help them. It is only when we allow ourselves to open up to our own nourishment that we are free to feed the rest of the world. And thus, to attend to one's own suffering is the most selfless act."
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