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John Goodman

"I'd like to come back because I really miss doing situation comedy."

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"I'd like to come back because I really miss doing situation comedy."

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Asa Don Brown

"I had to stop myself from laughing. Who needs help taking a pill?"

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Asa Don Brown

"Comedy was one of those genres that while appearing quite jolly was actually highly dangerous."

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Asa Don Brown

"She's got feet like boats, whiskers like an American, and her undies are filthy."

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Asa Don Brown

"Are you out of your goddamn mind? You think we can take on two hundred soldiers? I know I am an extremely attractive man, J, but I am not Bruce Lee."Who's Bruce Lee?"Who's Bruce Lee? Kenji asks, horrified. "Oh my God. We can't even be friends anymore."Why? Was he a friend of yours?"You know what, he says, "just stop. Just-I can't even talk to you right now."

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Asa Don Brown

"I never watch comedies they suck if something sucks it sucks there isn't doubt about it."

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Asa Don Brown

"I glanced at Derek. The boy wonder didn't melt into a pile of goo, although his gaze was glued to Rowena's chest. Avoiding eye contact. Good strategy."

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Asa Don Brown

"I hate comedy... Yo...-yo bitch."

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Asa Don Brown

"Now, if you have never been hit by a flying burrito, count yourself lucky. In terms of deadly projectiles, it's right up there with grenades and cannonballs."

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Asa Don Brown

"Comedy to me has always seemed a social tightrope for the comedian. For all axioms intellectually sound the general public would prefer to be amused, but in those emotionally sound, it then chooses to get offended."

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Asa Don Brown

"Have a chocolate-covered raisin, he said."They look like rat droppings, said the Chair.The Dean peered at them in the gloom."So that's it, he said. "The bag fell on the floor a minute ago, and I thought there seemed rather a lot."

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John Goodman
"Social Security's future has gotten worse, and each year we delay reform adds to the cost we are pushing off onto our children."
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"Like, every couple of months you read, they rewrite, you come back in, they've animated more stuff - they usually videotape you while you're reading it - so they'll incorporate some gestures and some facial expressions into it."
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John Goodman
"Basically, though, I'm just lucky to love what I do for a living."
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John Goodman
"It was a fight for a very long time. After the end of the first season, all that was done."
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John Goodman
"Kids are at my level. I like goofing around with them."
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John Goodman
"People in Medicaid ought to have access to the same insurance as the rest of the population. If they are segregated, it will be a poor plan for poor people."
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John Goodman
"This happens to be that the power of laughter and love would beat out the power of fear every time. You know, I hate to sound corny about it but it's true, and I think that's what this movie is about."
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John Goodman
"If you want to direct, you've got to work."
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John Goodman
"I'm just a lazy boy. I'd rather sit in my recliner and act."
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John Goodman
"It was cool for a couple of weeks, but how much bad golf can you play?"
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