top of page
"Some kid asked what a dilemma is. And I replied: When a starving man has to choose between a plate of food, and, a roll of toilet paper."
Standard
Customized
Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Don't interrupt me while I'm interrupting."

"This was not of the nature of a Christlike lesson for Owen Meany to learn, as he lay in the manger, that someone you hate can give you a hard-on."

"Kemp: I demonstrated conclusively this morning that invisibility--I.M: Never mind what YOU'VE DEMONSTRATED!--I'm starving, said the voice, and the night is--chilly for a man without clothes."

"I hope you're not smoking in front of her,' Lucia says to him.'Yeah, I lie in bed and puff in her face, Lucia,' he says, irritated."

"Niagara ... is the first disappointment in the married life of many Americans who spend their honeymoon there."

"How did the hearing go? she asked."We won, sort of, Kaldar said. "We die at dawn."The court gave the Sheeriles twenty-four hours, William corrected."Yes, but 'we die at dawn the day after tomorrow' doesn't sound nearlyas dramatic."Does it have to be dramatic all the time? Catherine murmured."Of course. Everyone has a talent. Yours is crocheting and mine ismaking melodramatic statements."
Explore more quotes by Mokokoma Mokhonoana

"Nothing humbles a beautiful woman better than not being wanted by a man whose girlfriend or wife is ugly (or not as beautiful as she is)."

"88% of what we call good songs aren't really good. They merely remind us of a good time we once had."

"Feminists who accept the claim made in The Book of Genesis, and, that God is a he, need to make their minds up."

"We all have problems. Or rather, everyone has at least one thing that they regard as a problem."

"Making God a man is the consolation prize that our forefathers gave themselves for not being the ones who were each blessed with a vagina."

"When reading a book, you are sold what some writer thought. When reading a newspaper, you are sold what someone did, and, what some advertiser made."

"Most parents are not really 'supportive' because they want their kid(s) to succeed; they 'support' their kid(s) as an attempt to avoid appearing to have bred a failure, or, failures - in the eyes of their peers and/or neighbours."

"We are loved way more by some of the people who have not contacted us in the last twelve or so months than we are loved by some of those who contact us every twelve or so days - or hours."
bottom of page