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"Unless you're Jack Lemmon or Cary Grant, there are few guys who can do comedy and drama."
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"I had to stop myself from laughing. Who needs help taking a pill?"
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Personal Development
"Comedy was one of those genres that while appearing quite jolly was actually highly dangerous."
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Personal Development
"She's got feet like boats, whiskers like an American, and her undies are filthy."
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Personal Development
"Are you out of your goddamn mind? You think we can take on two hundred soldiers? I know I am an extremely attractive man, J, but I am not Bruce Lee."Who's Bruce Lee?"Who's Bruce Lee? Kenji asks, horrified. "Oh my God. We can't even be friends anymore."Why? Was he a friend of yours?"You know what, he says, "just stop. Just-I can't even talk to you right now."
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"I never watch comedies they suck if something sucks it sucks there isn't doubt about it."
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Personal Development
"I glanced at Derek. The boy wonder didn't melt into a pile of goo, although his gaze was glued to Rowena's chest. Avoiding eye contact. Good strategy."
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"I hate comedy... Yo...-yo bitch."
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Personal Development
"Now, if you have never been hit by a flying burrito, count yourself lucky. In terms of deadly projectiles, it's right up there with grenades and cannonballs."
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Personal Development
"Comedy to me has always seemed a social tightrope for the comedian. For all axioms intellectually sound the general public would prefer to be amused, but in those emotionally sound, it then chooses to get offended."
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"Have a chocolate-covered raisin, he said."They look like rat droppings, said the Chair.The Dean peered at them in the gloom."So that's it, he said. "The bag fell on the floor a minute ago, and I thought there seemed rather a lot."
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"If you're an underdog, mentally disabled, physically disabled, if you don't fit in, if you're not as pretty as the others, you can still be a hero."
Pretty
"Let's look at people as artists and try to support them; just because Picasso painted a couple of bad paintings, that's no reason to say he's a lousy painter."
People
"For 15 years I did two to three movies a year, sometimes four. I didn't get to spend time building my personal life."
Life
"I'm not going to say, I'm an actor and I'm changing the world. Who cares?"
Actor
"When you're starting out as an actor, there isn't much food around. I was lucky to have a hit pretty early on. I didn't starve too long."
Food
"The allure of Hollywood is huge when you don't know anything. You don't know the knives behind the smiles."
Hollywood
"I'm not bragging but my movies have grossed well over a billion dollars."
Movies
"You never know who's going to become your friend. Friends are always chance meetings."
Friendship
"Directing is a tremendous art."
Art
"There are 100,000 actors in the Screen Actors Guild. Only 2,000 of them make more than $75,000 a year."
Actor
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