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"The smell of new office supplies is so satisfying while being kicked out of Staples for inappropriate behavior with a file folder is so embarrassing."
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"The real satire starts when I'm shockingly mocked,not mockingly shocked."

"CHARTERIS [unfolding his arms in terror] No, please. Dont. As a philosopher, it's my business to tell other people the truth; but it's not their business to tell it to me. I dont like it: it hurts."

"How was I supposed to know 'lucked out' means 'I got screwed over' in Australian?"

"I believe the phrase you're looking for is 'too much money and not enough things to spend it on."

"Where did you find that one?''I have no idea. I'm a magnet for crazies, I guess.''They must be able to sense a kindred spirit.''Your one to talk. Don't you have more hordes of the undead to lead in a glorious revolution?''Zombies not undead. There's a fine distinction. And no. Right now I'm scouting new talent. The glorious revolution comes tomorrow."

"I realized women and humor were linked very closely."

"A good joke doesn't necessarily need appreciation from others. One can freely laugh at one's own deserving jokes."
Explore more quotes by Ryan Lilly

"Stop waiting for creative inspiration. Start creating and inspire yourself along the way."

"When I first tried a sensory deprivation tank, people thought I had lost my mind. In fact, I had found it."

"Not only should we encourage kids to daydream, but also to jump-in and build those dreams. Dreaming is largely lost among adults drowning in self-imposed realities."

"The heart pointed to the brain and said with great disdain, "Those who live their lives in here live the lives most full of fear."

"Business ideas are like those flying dragons in Avatar. First you have to find one, let it choose you, then be brave enough to ride it."

"Proformas rarely perform; missed projections are more often the norm. Still, we skew them up high, we miss but we try, for proformas which rarely perform."
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