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"I don't think I've got bad taste. I've got no taste."
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"I think that standup has always been an acquired taste and there was always only a handful of performers that were really inspired."
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"Chocolate's okay, but I prefer a really intense fruit taste. You know when a peach is absolutely perfect... it's sublime. I'd like to capture that and then use it in a dessert."
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Personal Development
"I don't want to do anything in bad taste."
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Personal Development
"Good taste is the worst vice ever invented."
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Personal Development
"In my estimation, the only thing that is more to be guarded against than bad taste is good taste."
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"My hands look terrible but I can do anything I want to do, so, you know, I just think I'm playing all around with more good taste and not dashing up and down the piano."
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Personal Development
"I don't know how to do the other, so I won't even consider television until the audience's taste changes."
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Personal Development
"If I can't suck your milkshake through a straw, it's not a milkshake--it's a glass of ice cream."
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"I think homes should reflect the individuals and their individual taste rather than someone else's."
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"There's no common taste in this world."
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"The people I want are very famous and very rich, and all I can offer them is a bit of exposure on TV and a bit of cash, so it's a miracle we get any guests at all. But we have been very lucky."
People
"In terms of language, yeah we get bleeped and blurred and things, but in terms of content, I would probably say we're getting away with more here than we could get away with in Britain. And that surprised us so much!"
Content
"My mobile rang around lunchtime one day, and it was George Michael. He wanted to come in on Friday. We were like, 'okay, if that's what you want'. And he was a very good guest. That's a real exception to the rule."
Day
"I was a failed actor but I still wanted to show off, so I ended up doing live comedy."
Actor
"The only people who are desperate to go on the show are people we're desperate not to have on the show."
People
"I bet Maurice Gibb's heart monitor was singing the tune of Stayin' Alive."
Heart
"My ambition was to stop waiting tables. That was how I measured success: finally, I was able to stop waiting tables, and I was able to pay the rent, and that was by being a stand-up comic. Not a very good stand-up comic, but good enough to make a living."
Ambition
"I don't think I've got bad taste. I've got no taste."
Taste
"Basically, I'm a really bad interviewer. I love meeting celebrities, but then I get a bit bored. Once you meet them you thing, 'really, what an ordinary person'."
Love
"All my day is spent dealing with other people. When I come home I like it to be empty. The presence of others in my house kind of annoys me. I love coming home and shutting the doors. I feel brain dead. I'm relatively available, but not to live with."
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