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"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight."
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"When I'm in bed with a woman, my favorite move is a wrestling hold called the lip lock."
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Personal Development
"Being married means I can break wind and eat ice cream in bed."
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Personal Development
"Yeah, what happened was Universal wanted one of the characters to be nice so they chose me so there was a scene where the girl was tied to the bed and I let her go."
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Personal Development
"I do have odd habits. I check under my bed every night for the bogeyman. That's just a little thing, though."
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Personal Development
"I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again."
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Personal Development
"On the soft bed of luxury many kingdoms have expired."
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Personal Development
"A bedroom requires a bed. Everything else was extravagance. Well, he had a bed all right."
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Personal Development
"Your English style will no doubt put all the other gentlemen to bed. I speak figuratively, of course."
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Personal Development
"In bed at night, I could be reading some book, and I'll come across a sentence that's totally unrelated to some scene I did years ago. But I'll play the scene back in my mind and think, I did that wrong - I should've opened the door more slowly."
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Personal Development
"Willie Mays was the best ever. When I was in college I once made a catch like the one Mays made over his head. Sometimes when I'm lying in bed at night I think about it. It still makes me warm."
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"Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed."
Time
"My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor."
Thought
"The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public."
Woman
"You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type."
Blood
"I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing."
Years
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
Medical
"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight."
Bed
"The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing."
Reason
"Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?"
Chance
"Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children."
Work
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