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"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight."
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"At one point, I didn't get out of bed for, I think, three months, and I went down to the bottom of the hill one day and I had to call somebody to get me to come back up - come pick me up because I couldn't physically walk up the hill."
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Personal Development
"If it weren't for the rocks in its bed, the stream would have no song."
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Personal Development
"I lay in the bed at the hospital and said, 'let's see what I have left.' And I could see, I could speak, I could think, I could read. I simply tabulated my blessings, and that gave me a start."
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Personal Development
"I've got lots of good friends. I could have affairs. I can read a book all night, put the cat on the end of the bed. I can pick up my passport and go to France. I don't have to ask anybody."
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Personal Development
"I m up at 5 in the morning and in bed by 10 in the evening."
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Personal Development
"Being married means I can break wind and eat ice cream in bed."
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Personal Development
"Once, the parental bed collapsed because all the children sat on it at once."
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Personal Development
"Yeah, what happened was Universal wanted one of the characters to be nice so they chose me so there was a scene where the girl was tied to the bed and I let her go."
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Personal Development
"I promised to always bring up a glass of water to her before we go to bed, and she promised to never let me dress myself."
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Personal Development
"There's a little vanity chair that Charlie gave me the first Christmas we knew each other. I'll not be parting with that, nor our bed - the four-poster - I'll be needing that to die in."
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"Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed."
Time
"You know you're old if your walker has an airbag."
Old
"If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like."
Baseball
"Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?"
Chance
"Our dog died from licking our wedding picture."
Wedding
"My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me."
Justice
"The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public."
Woman
"My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor."
Thought
"The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing."
Reason
"There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto."
Money
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