"I like a man who can be a real friend, has a good sense of humor, a good pair of shoes and a healthy gold card."

Humor, Friend, Gold, Man

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"I like a man who can be a real friend, has a good sense of humor, a good pair of shoes and a healthy gold card."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"

Anthony Liccione, American Author

Humor, Trust, Mistake, Learning

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."

Michael Bassey Johnson, Nigerian Philosopher

Humor, Comedy, Stupidity, Life, Love

"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Confusion, Logic, Irony

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"

C. JoyBell C., American Author

Humor, Self, Life, Joy

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."

Richelle Mead, American Author

Humor, Dance, Sex, Judgment

"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Women, Needs, Attention

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Weight, Warning, Technology

"She breathed an enormous sigh, looked at Poirot, Looked away, and suddenly blurted out, "You're too old. Nobody told me you were so old. I really don't want to be rude but - there it is. You're too old. I'm really sorry." She turned abruptly and blundered out of the room, rather like a desperate moth in lamplight. Poirot, his mouth open, heard the bang of the front door. He ejaculated: "Non d'un nom d'un nom..."

Agatha Christie, English Writer

Humor, Aging, Appearance, Truth

"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."

Matshona Dhliwayo, Zimbabwean Philosopher

Humor, Marriage, Change, Responsibility, Life

"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"

Chuck Palahniuk, American Novelist

Humor, Death, Danger, Irony

Explore more quotes by Victoria Beckham

"I'm not materialistic. I believe in presents from the heart, like a drawing that a child does."

Heart,

"I don't know much about football. I know what a goal is, which is surely the main thing about football."

Goal, Football

"I want a big house with a moat and dragons and a fort to keep people out."

People, Want

"These people are amazing. It's so emotional I was thinking about wearing waterproof mascara."

People, Thinking

"If you haven't got it. Fake it! Too short? Wear big high heels, but do practice walking!"

Practice,

"In England, David and I are big fish in a small pond. But in L.A., we are tiny, tiny, tiny fish in a big pond."

Fish, EnglFish

"I am a control freak. I am very hands on and pay attention to details."

Control, Attention

"I keep fit by running after my three boys all day."

Boys, Day, Running

"What's David's role? David looks good, that's what David does. David looks good, and I'm the funny one, that's what I hear constantly. But I keep telling him that looks fade."

Funny,

"I can relax in L.A. I think I'm the only person in that town who doesn't want to act. I was an OK singer. I was an OK dancer. But acting? Never could do it."

Act, Acting, Relax, Want