"I like a man who can be a real friend, has a good sense of humor, a good pair of shoes and a healthy gold card."

Humor, Friend, Gold, Man

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"I like a man who can be a real friend, has a good sense of humor, a good pair of shoes and a healthy gold card."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Got a lot of sinful idears--but they seem kinda sensible."

John Steinbeck, American Author

Humor, Sin, Idea, Truth

"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

John Steinbeck, American Author

Humor, Laughter, Wisdom, Mortality

"Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness."

Ludwig Wittgenstein, Austrian Philosopher

Humor, Cleverness

"If they gave him an enema, he could be buried in a matchbox."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Death, Sarcasm, Mortality

"Pessimist - one who when he has the choice of two evils chooses both."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Pessimism, Evil, Choice, Irony

"Pardon my French if you're a religious man.''I am,' Bill said, grinning.'Then get outta my cab and go to fucking church,' the cabbie said, and they both burst out laughing."

Stephen King, American Author

Humor, Faith, Truth, Wisdom

"Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own children in such a way? Youtake delight in vexing me. You have no compassion for my poor nerves.""You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. Theyare my old friends. I have heard you mention them with considerationthese last twenty years at least."

Jane Austen, British Writer

Humor, Marriage, Family, Nerves

"The educated Southerner has no use for an 'R', except at the beginning of a word."

Mark Twain, American Author

Humor, Beginning, Word

"Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage."

Ambrose Bierce, American Journalist

Humor, Love, Insanity, Marriage

"You can be a little ungrammatical if you come from the right part of the country."

Robert Frost, American Poet

Humor, Country, Right

Explore more quotes by Victoria Beckham

"I love Brazilians. Brazilians ought to be made compulsory at 15."

Love

"These people are amazing. It's so emotional I was thinking about wearing waterproof mascara."

People

"If you haven't got it. Fake it! Too short? Wear big high heels, but do practice walking!"

Practice

"I don't know much about football. I know what a goal is, which is surely the main thing about football."

Goal

"I'm not materialistic. I believe in presents from the heart, like a drawing that a child does."

Heart

"This person they make me out to be irritates the hell out of me as well."

Hell

"I wake up every morning and I feel like I'm juggling glass balls. I live in Los Angeles, my business is run out of London, and most evenings I'm cuddled up in front of Skype, in my dressing gown, speaking with my studio in London. I travel a lot, my team travel a lot, but I wouldn't have it any other way."

Business

"I keep fit by running after my three boys all day."

Boys

"I am a control freak. I am very hands on and pay attention to details."

Control

"My dresses are for women of all different shapes and sizes. Actually, the one I tried on yesterday was the one Jennifer wore. And who'd have thought I'd be the same size as Jennifer Lopez!"

Woman