"When I got on Stern I realized that this was the one job where you could be really honest and open, almost like Richard Pryor or something. You can be honest about your life and get laughs."

Life, Job, Open

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"When I got on Stern I realized that this was the one job where you could be really honest and open, almost like Richard Pryor or something. You can be honest about your life and get laughs."

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"The condition you're in at this moment is the product of your previous thoughts, to change your condition, change your thoughts."

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Explore more quotes by Artie Lange

"When I got on Stern I realized that this was the one job where you could be really honest and open, almost like Richard Pryor or something. You can be honest about your life and get laughs."

Life, Job, Open

"I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life."

Life, Stability

"I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust."

Time, Yankee

"I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say."

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"The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent."

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"Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38."

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"And now it looks like I'm probably going to shoot a movie that I wrote. I got the money to do it, and I would star and all, because of being on Howard."

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"When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life."

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"By the time I am Howard's age I hope to be long retired. I don't plan on working that long."

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"Whiskey will always be a part of my life."

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