"I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so."

Humor, Life, Day

56

Create Your Own Wallpaper

Standard

Customized

"I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Rogerson," I asked him sweetly as we sat watching a video in the pool house, "where would I find the pelagic zone?""In the open sea," he said. "Now shut up and eat your Junior Mints."

Sarah Dessen, American Author

Humor, Knowledge, Curiosity, Learning

"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."

Mokokoma Mokhonoana, South African Philosopher

Humor, Truth, Wisdom, Life, Regret

"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."

Abraham Lincoln, American Politician

Humor, Coffee, Tea, President

"A sense of humor keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep him from the commission of all sins, or nearly all, save those worth committing."

Samuel Butler, British Poet

Humor, Man, Sense, Will

"Christ and The Church: If he were to apply for a divorce on the grounds of cruelty, adultery and desertion, he would probably get one."

Samuel Butler, British Poet

Humor, Adultery, Christ, Cruelty, Divorce

"England has forty-two religions and only two sauces."

Voltaire, French Writer

Humor, Religion, Diversity, Culture

"God is a comedian playing to an audience that is too afraid to laugh."

Voltaire, French Writer

Humor, God, Comedy, Fear, Laughter

"Stupidity is brief and guileless, while wit equivocates and hides. Wit is a scoundrel, while stupidity is honest and sincere."

Fyodor Dostoevsky, Russian Novelist

Humor, Stupidity, Wit, Honesty, Deception

"I say let the world go to hell, but I should always have my tea."

Fyodor Dostoevsky, Russian Novelist

Humor, Comfort, Tea, Indifference, Life

"Southern DADDY-Dandy At Doin' Diapers Y'all!"

Richelle E. Goodrich, American Poet

Humor, Happiness, Love, Today

Explore more quotes by Stephen Leacock

"Now, the essence, the very spirit of Christmas is that we first make believe a thing is so, and lo, it presently turns out to be so."

Christian, Christmas, First, Now, Spirit

"It's a lie, but Heaven will forgive you for it."

Humor, Lie, Heaven, Will

"If every day in the life of a school could be the last day but one, there would be little fault to find with it."

Education, Life, Day, Fault, School

"Advertising: the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it."

Business, Intelligence, Money, Science

"It's called political economy because it is has nothing to do with either politics or economy."

Politics, Economy, Nothing

"What we call creative work, ought not to be called work at all, because it isn't. I imagine that Thomas Edison never did a day's work in his last fifty years."

Creativity, Work, Day, Years

"The classics are only primitive literature. They belong to the same class as primitive machinery and primitive music and primitive medicine."

Writing, Music, Class, Literature, Medicine

"I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so."

Humor, Life, Day

"There are two things in ordinary conversation which ordinary people dislike - information and wit."

Attitude, People, Conversation, Information, Wit

"Writing is no trouble: you just jot down ideas as they occur to you. The jotting is simplicity itself - it is the occurring which is difficult."

Writing, Ideas, Simplicity