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"No headboards were broken."
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"I've been on so many blind dates I should get a free dog."
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Personal Development
"Sometimes absurd logic can be amusing and heart-touching."
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Personal Development
"I think at its best the American sense of humor is the same as the British sense of humor at its best, which is to be wry and ironic and self deprecating."
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Personal Development
"I enjoy slaughtering beasts, and I think of my relatives constantly."
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Personal Development
"Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals."
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Personal Development
"You can turn your back on a person, but never turn your back on a drug, especially when its waving a razor sharp hunting knife in your eye."
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Personal Development
"Alimony: the cash surrender value of a husband."
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Personal Development
"I've stopped drinking, but only while I'm asleep."
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Personal Development
"Beware of giggle grins, they are highly contagious."
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Personal Development
"When I reprimanded my son for hair like Michael Jackson he said: "I don't see the problem you wear yours like Michael Jordan.""
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"My thoughts are stars I can't fanthom into constellations."
Imagination
"This is unbearable ... God. These books she'll never read. Her Life's Library."
Loss
"There are always answers. We just have to be smart enough."
Wisdom
"The oblivion fear is something else, fear that I won't be able to give anything in exchange for my life. If you don't live a life in service of a greater good, you've gotta at least die a death in service of a greater good, you know? And I fear that I won't get either a life or a death that means anything."
Philosophy
"Physical intimacy isn't and can never be an effective substitute for emotional intimacy."
Love
"This is all so CHILDISH PATHETIC. YOU'RE EMBARASSING. GET OVER IT GET OVER IT GET OVER IT. But he did not quite know what "it" was."
Emotion
"Jesus, I'm not going to be one of those people who sits around talking about what they're going to do. I'm just going to do it."
Action
"If people were rain, I was a drizzle and she was a hurricaine."
Emotion
"I would never slay the dragon, because the dragon was also me."
Identity
"So dawn goes down today... Nothing gold can stay.-- Robert Frost."
Life
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