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"IQ's are a combination of eyes, and queues. Would you wait in line to see my goat show? Of course you wouldn't, because the line is invisible."
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"Some kleptomaniacs do not steal things only; they also, while some only, steal lovers."
"You know, Aunt Tasha makes jokes about how youE1d actually be a better queen than the others, except sometimes . . . I donE1t think sheE1s joking."
"A tie is what you get after ice cubes have wrestled with hot water."
"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."
"If you're brighter than a lightning bug, don't show your ass."
Explore more quotes by Will Advise
"As an evil cultist, I make an excellent evil cultist. Only I'm stupid, and not evil. And I worship nothing, really."
"Having no applicable skills, in any possible area whatsoever, effectively makes me the master of redundancy. But that info is obsolete, like my insults dictionary, which I stole."
"Wasting time on timing stuff is a good way to save time from being wasted on other pointless activities like writing, reading, and sleeping."
"Fluttershyes are like regular shyes, only shinier, and, apparently - also shyer. Whenever petted - they don't flutter, but run away instead."
"People skills are useless with cats, because cats are immune to training, and do whatever they decide in any situation... And most importantly they aren't human."
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