top of page
"I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle."
Standard
Customized
Exlpore more Water quotes
Explore more quotes by Mitch Hedberg

"I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific."

"I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later."

"Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show."

"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall."

"I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once."
bottom of page