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"I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle."
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Exlpore more Water quotes
"For me, I just try to make sure I eat enough and drink enough water and that's about it."
"Hence a ship is said to be tight, when her planks are so compact and solid as to prevent the entrance of the water in which she is immersed: and a cask is called tight, when the staves are so close that none of the liquid contained therein can issue through or between them."
"You can lead a bureaucrat to water, but you can't make him think."
"There's loads of things you can do to make things easy for your throat, you can drink a bit of lemon and hot water couple of spoons of honey, you can gargle with port, I've done it a couple of times myself - but don't swallow it!"
"I want all the interested parties to come together and develop a solution that provides additional water and helps the lower Arkansas River communities thrive again."
"Brooke might tell a different story, but I've always loved the water."
"There's a monster outside my room, can I have a glass of water?"
Explore more quotes by Mitch Hedberg
"Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show."
"Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!"
"I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time. You don't have to fry them again after all."
"My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She got halfway. She's an actress, she just never gets called to the set."
"I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit."
"I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality."
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