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"I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle."
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Exlpore more Water quotes

"Part of water which is cooler always flows to below surface.I understand that hotheaded men always want to be noticed."

"It's not color, it's like pouring 40 tablespoons of sugar water over a roast."

"There's a monster outside my room, can I have a glass of water?"

"If you're really on top, you probably didn't do that great, 'cause you have to water it down a bit for it to get that mass appeal."

"We didn't have the lane ropes, we had to get up higher in the water to avoid the little waves."
Explore more quotes by Mitch Hedberg

"I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality."

"I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late."

"My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.'"

"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall."
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