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"A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better."
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"Were you to read the British press today, you would learn that the British Empire never forgets its defeats."

"Washington is the only city in the world where you can go to a black-tie dinner and there at the foot of the table is a television set up to catch a press conference."

"The press is like a big bass, you just stick a hook in their mouth and they'll take it."

"If you press me to say why I loved him, I can say no more than because he was he, and I was I."

"I've had much nastier things said about me in the British press than in the Bosnian press."

"We were the victims of the new producer but what annoyed me was they told the press we were leaving before us."

"I have a much better relationship with the press than I did, I think because I stood my ground."
Explore more quotes by Fred Allen

"A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary."

"We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion."

"Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure."

"A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized."

"It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually supportive alliances through which partners recognize their dependence on each other for the achievement of shared and private goals."

"A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but who, as a group, can meet and decide that nothing can be done."
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