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"A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better."
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"If the press really thinks Obama is Lincoln, they ought to treat him like they treated Bush, 'cause that's how they treated Lincoln. His critics compared Lincoln to an ape; they called him an illiterate baboon."
"We had so much press, and then they get bored... I think we've done well to keep going."
"The press briefing today I believe has lost much of its usefulness."
"Washington is the only city in the world where you can go to a black-tie dinner and there at the foot of the table is a television set up to catch a press conference."
"Then, all of a sudden, here I am in the Press Room in the White House and walking in with the guards, who handed me three little pieces of paper asking me to send pictures to the guards at the White House."
"Bantam Press. And they commissioned me to write it. And when that was completed, they sold it to Harper and Row. And then I put it out to every movie studio in town. And they all turned it down."
"Well, they didn't lack for topics after Hiroshima. Why should 9/11 slow them down? I know it got a lot of press, but it's just a few large buildings and aircraft, it's not like D-Day and the Seige of Berlin."
Explore more quotes by Fred Allen
"An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match."
"Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs."
"You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart."
"Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything."
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