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"But nearly every woman I know has a roughly similar story - in fact, dozens of them: stories about being obsessed with a celebrity, work colleague or someone they vaguely knew for years; living in a parallel world in their head; conjuring up endless plots and scenarios for this thing that never actually happened."
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"He loved her for being so beautiful, and he hated her for it. He loved how she put shiny stuff on her lips for him, and he also reviled her for it. He wanted her to walk home alone, and he wanted to run after her and grab her up before she could take another step."
"When I write, I write obsessively. I try to pace myself, but some fires are too hot to put out."
"Obsession is the single most wasteful human activity, because with an obsession you keep coming back and back and back to the same question and never get an answer."
"He did not care upon what terms he satisfied his passion. He had even a mad, melodramatic idea to drug her."
"Aziraphale collected books. If he were totally honest with himself he would have to have admitted that his bookshop was simply somewhere to store them. He was not unusual in this. In order to maintain his cover as a typical second-hand book seller, he used every means short of actual physical violence to prevent customers from making a purchase. Unpleasant damp smells, glowering looks, erratic opening hours - he was incredibly good at it."
"My only companion from the outside world during nineteen years of isolation has been my personal hatred of Thursday Next. It's kind of like the old me suddenly taking over, and I promised myself that this was how I would act if I ever saw you.' 'I have the same thing, but with Tom Stoppard,' I said. 'You'd kill Tom Stoppard?' 'Not at all. I promised myself many years ago that I would throw myself at his feet and scream "I'm not worthy!" if I ever met him, so now if we're ever at the same party or something, I have to be at pains to avoid him. It would be undignified, you see-for him and for me."
"I have got this obsessive compulsive disorder where I have to have everything in a straight line, or everything has to be in pairs."
Explore more quotes by Caitlin Moran
"But when women are asked when they're going to have children, there is, in actually, another darker, more pertinent question lying underneath it."
"Not one had ever passed judgement on my cheap handbag to my face. But then, this is a reserved country."
"When a woman walks into a room, her outfit is the first thing she says, before she even opens her mouth. Women are judged on what they wear in a way men would find incomprehensible."
"Parents drinking is the reason you came into the world, and if we didn't keep doing it then, by God, it would be the reason you went back out of it."
"Lines and greyness are nature's way of telling you not to fuck with someone - the equivalent of yellow and black lines on a wasp, or the markings on the back of a black widow spider."
"I am eating this noise like mouthfuls of freezing, glittering fog. I am filling with it. I am using it as energy. Because what you are, as a teenager, is a small, silver, empty rocket. And you use loud music as fuel, and then the information in books as maps and coordinates, to tell you where you're going."
"For a woman, every outfit is a hopeful spell, cast to influence the outcome of the day. An act of trying to predict your fate, like looking at your horoscope."
"You stop talking about things when you've worked them out. You're no longer an observer but a participant. You're too busy for this bullshit."
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