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"When you encounter seemingly good advice that contradicts other seemingly good advice, ignore them both."
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"Ask a woman's advice, and whatever she advises, Do the very reverse and you're sure to be wise."
"Advice is one of those things it is far more blessed to give than to receive."
"Read the folklore masters. Go to galleries. Walk in the woods. That's what you need to be an artist or storyteller."
"Never go on a date unarmed. Words of wisdom from my father. Well, my foster father. I was an orphan, of course. The best kings always are."
"A bitter critic is the sweetest corrector."
Explore more quotes by Al Franken
"I once asked the most fabulous couple I know, Madonna and Guy Ritchie, how they kept things fresh despite having been married for almost seven months. 'It's a job, Al,' Guy told me. 'We work at it every day.'"
"To make the argument that the media has a left- or right-wing, or a liberal or a conservative bias, is like asking if the problem with Al-Qaeda is do they use too much oil in their hummus."
"Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from."
"The point is that there is tremendous hypocrisy among the Christian right. And I think that Christian voters should start looking at global warming and extreme poverty as a religious issue that speaks to the culture of life."
"Well, a lot of politics is communicating with people, and obviously comedy has something to do with that. I've been a producer and led people. Also, being a comedian, you're under pressure."
"Yeah, but you need an experienced radio veteran who is a liberal advocate. And there just hadn't been any radio that did that. And so they weren't trained - they had developed all these bad habits of being objective and balanced and stuff like that."
"And I think that being able to make people laugh and write a book that's funny makes the information go down a lot easier and it makes it a lot more fun to read, easier to understand, and often stronger. So there's all kinds of advantages to it."
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