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Aristotle

"Wit is educated insolence."

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"Wit is educated insolence."

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A.E. Samaan

"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"

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"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."

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A.E. Samaan

"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."

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A.E. Samaan

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"

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A.E. Samaan

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."

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A.E. Samaan

"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."

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A.E. Samaan

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

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A.E. Samaan

"Comedy strikes here... just to reduce pressure and depression."

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A.E. Samaan

"They're both bungholes who think they're too noble to shit."

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A.E. Samaan

"She breathed an enormous sigh, looked at Poirot, Looked away, and suddenly blurted out, "You're too old. Nobody told me you were so old. I really don't want to be rude but - there it is. You're too old. I'm really sorry." She turned abruptly and blundered out of the room, rather like a desperate moth in lamplight. Poirot, his mouth open, heard the bang of the front door. He ejaculated: "Non d'un nom d'un nom..."

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"We are not angry with people we fear or respect, as long as we fear or respect them; you cannot be afraid of a person and also at the same time angry with him."
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"Courage is the first of human qualities because it is the quality which guarantees the others."
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"Courage is a mean with regard to fear and confidence."
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"Freedom is obedience to self-formulated rules."
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"And it will often happen that a man with wealth in the form of coined money will not have enough to eat, and what a ridiculous kind of wealth is that which even in abundance will not save you from dying with hunger!"
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"Neither by nature, then, nor contrary to nature do the virtues arise in us; rather we are adapted by nature to receive them, and are made perfect by habit."
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"A friend to all is a friend to none."
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"The gods too are fond of a joke."
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"The truth is that, just as in the other imitative arts one imitation is always of one thing, so in poetry the story, as an imitation of action, must represent one action, a complete whole, with its several incidents so closely connected that the transposal or withdrawal of any one of them will disjoin and dislocate the whole. For that which makes no perceptible difference by its presence or absence is no real part of the whole."
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"The one exclusive sign of thorough knowledge is the power of teaching."
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