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P. J. O'Rourke

"A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing too."

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"A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing too."

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Amber Hurdle

"Sometimes I like to play the soundtracks to famous musicals so we can all sing along. South Pacific is one of my favorites. Our neighbors must hate us."

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Amber Hurdle

"Few if any teenagers can relate to getting up for school and finding famous comics like Pryor and Williams hanging out in your living room after a hard night of partying. But that's Hollywood."

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Amber Hurdle

"But just playing the partner of someone famous, I had a lot more freedom."

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Amber Hurdle

"Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises."

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Amber Hurdle

"Similarly, another famous little quantum fluctuation that programs you is the exact configuration of your DNA."

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Amber Hurdle

"It isn't necessary to be rich and famous to be happy. It's only necessary to be rich."

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Amber Hurdle

"They were all famous and fantastic fellows."

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Amber Hurdle

"I'm actually about as famous as a fourth division footballer from the 70s."

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Amber Hurdle

"None of my characters are rich or famous, and the situations they find themselves in could happen to anyone."

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Amber Hurdle

"Why am I so famous? What am I doing right? What are the others doing wrong?"

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"Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores are us."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a "learning experience." Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a "learning experience." It makes me feel less stupid."
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"The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop."
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"Children must be considered in a divorce considered valuable pawns in the nasty legal and financial contest that is about to ensue."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"Never fight an inanimate object."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them on us."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going."
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