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"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Christ and The Church: If he were to apply for a divorce on the grounds of cruelty, adultery and desertion, he would probably get one."
Author Name
Personal Development
"England has forty-two religions and only two sauces."
Author Name
Personal Development
"God is a comedian playing to an audience that is too afraid to laugh."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Southern DADDY-Dandy At Doin' Diapers Y'all!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"GreenHollyWood is a bad character, fat, liking jokes, liking jokes about size, about the large, about the how big are you. Likes to laugh when you make a mistake, ... but but he is a teacher?! With a glasses a fat guy!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Good friends, very good what's the equation motherfucker???"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Jokes are grievances."
Author Name
Personal Development
"There was so much testosterone in the air, I felt like I needed a gas mask."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Wow. What'd he do to deserve that? Rescue orphans from a burning building? If so, you might want to make sure he didn't set the building on fire in the first place."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"When one day an expedition was sent to the spatial coordinates that Voojagig had claimed for the planet they discovered only a small asteroid inhabited by a solitary old man who claimed repeatedly that nothing was true, though he was later discovered to be lying."
Fiction
"The only moral it is possible to draw from this story is that one should never throw the Q letter into a privet bush, but unfortunately there are times when it is unavoidable."
Ethics
"I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons."
Tax
"The story so far:In the beginning the Universe was created.This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
Philosophy
"His eyes passed over the solid shapes of the instruments and computers that lined the bridge. They winked away innocently at him. He stared out at the stars, but none of them said a word."
Observation
"You come to me for advice, but you can't cope with anything you don't recognize. Hmmm. So we'll have to tell you something you already know but make it sound like news, eh Well, business as usual , I suppose."
Advice
"Life is wasted on the living."
Life
"Beethoven tells you what it's like to be Beethoven and Mozart tells you what it's like to be human. Bach tells you what it's like to be the universe."
Art
"The chances of finding out what's really going on in the universe are so remote, the only thing to do is hang the sense of it and keep yourself occupied."
Mystery
"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.There is another theory which states that this has already happened."
Mystery
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