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Will Rogers

"Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?"

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"Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?"

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Assegid Habtewold

"Most everyone now personally knows someone who is openly homosexual."

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"I am now seventy, rather glad, really, that I won't live to see the horrors to come in the 21st century."

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"Students now arrive at the university ignorant and cynical about our political heritage, lacking the wherewithal to be either inspired by it or seriously critical of it."

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"One hundred and ten years from now no one who is here now will be alive."

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"There's a part of me that wishes I'd never said one single solitary word on any subject publicly. Then I could have been the tortured poet, and there's so much mileage in that. But it's too late to stop now."

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Assegid Habtewold

"For instance, it's a little better now than it was two or three years ago, but something like 70% of the poems I receive seem to be written in the present indicative."

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"If you have tears, prepare to shed them now."

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Assegid Habtewold

"I take responsibility for myself and what I do now."

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"I was probably just trying to be Dennis Miller, but without the vocabulary to actually be Dennis Miller. I guess I was just less interesting than I am now, if I am interesting at all."

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"I don't like directors that just say, Stand there and now do this."

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"Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need."
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"If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep."
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"Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth."
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"The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself."
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"Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week."
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"So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way."
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"There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail."
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"Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction."
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"Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else."
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"Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators."
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