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"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."
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Personal Development
"Roused by the lash of his own stubborn tail our lion now will foreign foes assail."
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Personal Development
"If matters go badly now, they will not always be so."
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Personal Development
"For years I wanted to be older, and now I am."
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Personal Development
"The month of January, we were number one. Now, this is something we're proud of, because we recognize we're up against a formidable operation there at CNN."
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Personal Development
"In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted."
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Personal Development
"It is a cliche these days to observe that the United States now possesses a global empire - different from Britain's and Rome's but an empire nonetheless."
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Personal Development
"The cup that went down under has now come up again."
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Personal Development
"Better times perhaps await us who are now wretched."
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Personal Development
"Do not postpone your problems, solve them now! Because tomorrow you might be weaker than today and there might arise additional problems! Unsheathe your sword now; forget tomorrow, time is now!"
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Personal Development
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"There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you."
Government
"There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in."
Man
"If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress."
Funny
"A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people."
People
"The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That's one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living."
Education
"I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies."
Enemy
"Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators."
Constitution
"Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else."
Humor
"In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write but evidently can't read. If they could read their stuff, they'd stop writing."
People
"I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat."
Party
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