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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."

"I've accepted the fact I have mental illness but when my imaginary friends start calling me crazy that's where I draw the line."

"I laugh for sheer medicinal purposes, because I feel I might die otherwise."

"Extolling the virtues of conservation of energy, Churchill advised, "Never stand when you can sit, and never sit when you can lie down."

"Hey, guard! Ian hollered out loud. "Do you think we could get a bathroom break? The guard seemed to snicker as he pointed to the grass outside the cell. Eena smirked at how dead-on her thoughts had been after all. "Come on, Ian complained. "She can't do that, she's a girl. The soldier smiled wryly, a shrug communicating his indifference. Eena laughed in her mind. (I don't know what you think's so funny. You're the one who's gotta pee.) Oddly enough, that fact just made her laugh even more."

"Did you talk to him about it?""Oh, sure. Nothing happened, yadda yadda. The usual. But my maydar went off like crazy.""Maydar?""As in, he may be thinking about super hot sex with her. Like radar, only not as sure."
Explore more quotes by M.F. Moonzajer

"You can blame people and situations for your misery, hunger, deprivation and illness, but you are the only person can be blamed for your illiteracy."

"Governments neither help us to get out of poverty and hunger, nor let us die. It is time that we must pick one."

"Your spirit nourishes from your old God and prophet, but mine nourishes from wisdom and conscience."

"The mind is just a delusion not a reality. If the materials are perception of our mind, then why we cannot turn into handsome guys and beautiful ladies without putting a hundred grams of makeup powder?"

"A woman does not marry with a man for his wealth, unless he is too rich and a man does not marry with a girl for her beauty, unless she is too beautiful."

"Everyone loves to walk in the footprints of successful people, even without understanding whom footprints they walk in."
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