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"These are bagpipes. I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the man-made sound never equalled the purity of the sound achieved by the pig."
Man
"Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some."
Work
"Luck is everything... My good luck in life was to be a really frightened person. I'm fortunate to be a coward, to have a low threshold of fear, because a hero couldn't make a good suspense film."
Life
"There is nothing quite so good as burial at sea. It is simple, tidy, and not very incriminating."
Nothing
"When an actor comes to me and wants to discuss his character, I say, 'It's in the script.' If he says, 'But what's my motivation?, ' I say, 'Your salary.'"
Motivational
"Television is like the American toaster, you push the button and the same thing pops up everytime."
Media
"In feature films the director is God; in documentary films God is the director."
God
"Give them pleasure - the same pleasure they have when they wake up from a nightmare."
Pleasure
"Some of our most exquisite murders have been domestic, performed with tenderness in simple, homey places like the kitchen table."
Journalism
"Self-plagiarism is style."
Self
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"Precaution is better than cure."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The sovereign cure for worry is prayer."
Author Name
Personal Development
"If it were possible to cure evils by lamentation and to raise the dead with tears, then gold would be a less valuable thing than weeping."
Author Name
Personal Development
"No, come to think of it, I don't think the Cure will end, but I can make up an ending if you want me to."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold."
Author Name
Personal Development
"But the cure for most obstacles is, Be decisive."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Grease is the only cure for a hangover."
Author Name
Personal Development
"A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Ulcerative colitis can be cured by the operation, but you cannot cure Crohn's disease."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Almost everybody is enthusiastic about the promise of biotechnology to cure disease and to relieve suffering."
Author Name
Personal Development
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