Are You Truly Successful? Defining and Achieving Real Success
- Feb 1
- 12 min read
Updated: Aug 6

You're scrolling through social media on a quiet Sunday evening when you stumble across a post from an old college friend. There they are, standing in front of a gleaming new car, keys dangling from their manicured fingers, with a caption that reads "Dreams do come true!" You pause, thumb hovering over the screen, and something stirs within you—a mixture of admiration, perhaps a twinge of envy, and most importantly, a question that echoes in the depths of your mind: "Am I truly successful?"
This moment of introspection is more common than you might think. In our hyper-connected world, we're constantly bombarded with images and stories of what success is supposed to look like. The corner office with floor-to-ceiling windows. The exotic vacation photos from Bali. The designer handbags and luxury watches. But here's the truth that might surprise you: success isn't a universal uniform that one size fits all. It's a deeply personal tapestry, woven from your values, dreams, experiences, and the unique circumstances that shape your life.
The Great Success Illusion
We live in an era where success has been commoditized, packaged, and sold to us through glossy magazines and carefully curated social media feeds. Society has created a narrow definition of what it means to "make it"—and unfortunately, this definition often revolves around external markers: wealth accumulation, social status, material possessions, and public recognition.

But consider this: Mother Teresa, one of history's most revered figures, owned virtually nothing. She lived in poverty by choice, dedicating her life to serving the destitute and dying in the slums of Calcutta. By conventional standards, she might not have been considered "successful." Yet her impact on humanity was immeasurable, and her legacy continues to inspire millions worldwide. Was she successful? Most would answer with a resounding yes.
This paradox reveals something profound about the nature of success: it's not about what you have, but about who you become and the difference you make along the way. True success is less about the destination and more about the journey—less about what you accumulate and more about what you contribute.
Redefining Success on Your Own Terms
The first step toward achieving genuine success is defining what it means to you, personally and authentically. This requires deep introspection and the courage to look beyond society's expectations to discover your own values and aspirations.
Start by asking yourself some fundamental questions: What makes you feel truly fulfilled? When do you feel most alive and engaged? What kind of legacy do you want to leave behind? What would you regret not doing or becoming if your life ended tomorrow?
For some, success might mean building a thriving business that provides jobs for hundreds of people. For others, it could be raising children who grow up to be kind, compassionate adults. It might be writing a novel that touches someone's heart, teaching students who go on to change the world, or simply finding the courage to be authentically yourself in a world that often pressures us to conform.
The beauty of personal success is that it's entirely yours to define. You get to write the rules, set the standards, and determine what victory looks like in your own life. This isn't about lowering expectations or settling for less—it's about aiming for what truly matters to you rather than chasing someone else's definition of achievement.
The Foundation of Lasting Success
While success may be personally defined, there are certain foundational principles that seem to underpin most forms of meaningful achievement. Think of these as the bedrock upon which you can build your unique version of success.
Self-Belief: The Starting Point of All Achievement
Every great accomplishment begins with a person who believed it was possible, often long before anyone else did. Consider the story of Oprah Winfrey, who grew up in poverty, faced numerous hardships, and was told early in her career that she was "too emotional" for television news. Yet she believed in her vision of meaningful, authentic communication. That self-belief, even in the face of rejection and criticism, became the foundation for building a media empire that has touched millions of lives.
Self-belief isn't about blind confidence or ignoring reality. It's about maintaining faith in your ability to learn, grow, and overcome challenges. It's about treating yourself with the same encouragement and support you would offer a dear friend facing difficulties. When you truly believe in yourself, you give yourself permission to take risks, make mistakes, and keep trying even when others doubt you.
Building self-belief is like strengthening a muscle—it requires consistent practice. Start small. Set achievable goals and celebrate when you accomplish them. Surround yourself with positive influences and limit exposure to people or media that consistently undermine your confidence. Remember past successes, no matter how small, and let them remind you of your capabilities.
Understanding and Empathy: The Bridge to Meaningful Connections
Success rarely happens in isolation. Whether you're building a business, nurturing relationships, or pursuing personal goals, your ability to understand and connect with others will largely determine your effectiveness and fulfilment.
True understanding goes beyond simply hearing what someone says—it involves listening with your heart, observing body language, and seeking to comprehend not just the words but the emotions and motivations behind them. When you make others feel heard and valued, you create an environment where collaboration, trust, and mutual support can flourish.
Consider the approach of great leaders throughout history. They didn't command respect through fear or authority alone; they earned it by demonstrating genuine care for others' wellbeing and perspectives. They understood that success shared is success multiplied.
In your daily interactions, practice the art of empathetic listening. When someone is speaking to you, resist the urge to formulate your response while they're talking. Instead, focus entirely on understanding their perspective. Ask thoughtful questions. Show genuine interest in their experiences and feelings. This simple shift in approach can transform your relationships and open doors to opportunities you never imagined.
How do you define success?
Financial freedom and wealth accumulation
Strong relationships and family happiness
Making a positive impact on society
Personal fulfillment and self-actualization
Action-Based Confidence: Moving Forward Despite Fear
One of the biggest myths about successful people is that they're naturally fearless. The truth is quite the opposite—they feel fear just like everyone else, but they've learned to act in spite of it. Confidence isn't the absence of fear; it's the decision to move forward despite feeling afraid.
Think about learning to drive a car. You likely felt nervous the first time you sat behind the wheel. Your hands might have been sweaty, your heart racing. But with each successful mile, your confidence grew. You didn't wait until you felt confident to start driving—you built confidence through the act of driving itself.
The same principle applies to every area of life. Want to become a better public speaker? Start speaking. Hoping to launch a business? Take the first concrete step. Dreaming of writing a book? Write the first page. Action creates momentum, and momentum builds confidence.
Remember, you don't have to be perfect to begin. You just have to be willing to start. Every expert was once a beginner, and every master was once a disaster. The difference between those who achieve their goals and those who don't is often simply the willingness to begin before feeling ready.
The Power of Connection and Collaboration
Perhaps one of the most overlooked aspects of success is the role that others play in our achievements. The myth of the self-made person is exactly that—a myth. Behind every successful individual is a network of relationships, mentors, collaborators, and supporters who contributed to their journey.
Building meaningful professional and personal relationships isn't about networking in the traditional sense of collecting business cards and LinkedIn connections. It's about genuine human connection, mutual support, and shared growth. When you approach relationships with authenticity and a sincere desire to add value to others' lives, you create a foundation for long-term success that extends far beyond any individual achievement.
Seek out mentors who inspire you and have achieved what you aspire to accomplish. But don't just look for people who are ahead of you on the path—also embrace the role of mentor to others who are earlier in their journey. Teaching and guiding others not only helps them grow but also reinforces your own learning and provides fresh perspectives on familiar challenges.
Remember that collaboration doesn't mean you have to agree on everything or that every relationship will be easy. The most productive partnerships often involve people with different strengths, perspectives, and approaches. Embrace these differences as opportunities for growth rather than obstacles to overcome.
Continuous Growth: The Fuel of Long-Term Success
Success is not a static state—it's a dynamic process of continuous growth and evolution. The moment you stop learning and growing is the moment you start becoming irrelevant. This doesn't mean you need to be in a constant state of stress or dissatisfaction with your current situation. Rather, it means maintaining a curious, open mindset that embraces new experiences and challenges as opportunities for development.

The most successful people are often the most voracious learners. They read widely, seek out new experiences, ask questions, and remain humble enough to admit when they don't know something. They understand that knowledge and skills that served them well yesterday might not be sufficient for tomorrow's challenges.
Create a personal learning plan that includes both formal and informal education. This might involve taking online courses, attending conferences, reading books outside your usual areas of interest, or simply engaging in meaningful conversations with people from different backgrounds and industries. The key is to remain curious and open to new ideas, even when they challenge your existing beliefs or assumptions.
Physical health also plays a crucial role in sustained success. Your body is the vehicle that carries you through your journey, and maintaining it should be a priority, not an afterthought. Regular exercise, proper nutrition, adequate sleep, and stress management aren't luxuries—they're essential components of a successful life. When you feel physically strong and energetic, you're better equipped to handle challenges, think clearly, and maintain the emotional resilience necessary for long-term achievement.
Lifting Others as You Climb
Perhaps the most fulfilling aspect of success is the opportunity it provides to positively impact others' lives. True success is never solely about personal gain—it's about creating value that extends beyond yourself to benefit your family, community, and even society as a whole.
This doesn't mean you need to become a philanthropist or dedicate your life to charity, though those are certainly admirable paths. It can be as simple as being generous with encouragement, sharing your knowledge and experiences, or creating opportunities for others to succeed alongside you.
When you make a conscious effort to lift others as you climb, several beautiful things happen. First, you create a positive legacy that extends far beyond your individual achievements. Second, you build a network of grateful, supportive relationships that can enrich your life in countless ways. Third, you often discover that helping others succeed creates unexpected opportunities for your own growth and success.
Consider keeping a mental inventory of the people who have supported, encouraged, or helped you along your journey. Look for ways to pay that support forward to others who are where you once were. Whether it's offering advice to a younger colleague, volunteering your time for a cause you care about, or simply being more generous with praise and recognition, small acts of encouragement can have profound impacts on others' lives.
Resilience: The Secret Ingredient
If there's one quality that distinguishes those who achieve lasting success from those who don't, it's resilience—the ability to bounce back from setbacks, learn from failures, and persist in the face of challenges.
Every successful person has a collection of stories about times when things didn't go according to plan. The difference is that they view these experiences not as evidence of their inadequacy, but as valuable learning opportunities and necessary steps on their journey to success.
Resilience isn't about being tough all the time or never feeling discouraged. It's about developing the mental and emotional skills to process setbacks constructively, extract lessons from difficult experiences, and maintain faith in your ability to ultimately succeed. It's about understanding that failure is not the opposite of success—it's often a prerequisite for it.
When facing challenges, try to adopt what psychologists call a "growth mindset." Instead of asking "Why is this happening to me?" ask "What can I learn from this?" Instead of seeing setbacks as evidence that you're not cut out for success, view them as valuable data that can inform your next attempt.
Build a support system of people who believe in you and can provide perspective during difficult times. Sometimes the difference between giving up and pushing through is having someone remind you of your strengths and past successes when you're too discouraged to remember them yourself.
Success as a Daily Practice
Here's a truth that might surprise you: success isn't primarily about making one or two life-changing decisions or having moments of breakthrough inspiration. It's about the small, consistent choices you make every single day. It's about showing up even when you don't feel like it, maintaining your standards even when no one is watching, and staying committed to your values even when it would be easier to compromise.
Think of success as a daily practice rather than a distant destination. Each day, ask yourself: What can I do today to move closer to my goals? How can I be the person I want to become today? What small act of kindness, learning, or progress can I engage in right now?
This approach takes the pressure off needing to make dramatic changes overnight and puts the focus on sustainable, consistent growth. It also makes success feel more accessible and less overwhelming. You don't need to figure out the entire path—you just need to take the next step.
Measuring Your Success
Given that success is personally defined, it's important to establish your own metrics for measuring progress and achievement. These metrics should reflect your values and priorities rather than external expectations or comparisons to others.
Some people measure success by financial milestones, and that's perfectly valid if financial security and freedom are important to them. Others might measure it by the quality of their relationships, the impact they're having in their community, their level of personal fulfilment, or their progress toward specific goals they've set for themselves.
The key is to be intentional about what you're measuring and why. Create both short-term and long-term indicators of success. Celebrate the small wins along the way—they're not just stepping stones to bigger achievements, they're valuable accomplishments in their own right.
Regularly reassess your definition of success as you grow and evolve. What mattered to you five years ago might not be as important today, and that's perfectly normal. Allow your understanding of success to mature and deepen as you do.
How Your Success Inspires Others
When you pursue success on your own terms, something remarkable happens: you give others permission to do the same. Your authenticity and courage in defining and pursuing what truly matters to you can inspire those around you to examine their own definitions of success and perhaps make changes in their own lives.
This creates a ripple effect that extends far beyond your individual achievements. By refusing to conform to others' expectations and instead choosing to live according to your values, you contribute to a cultural shift toward more authentic, fulfilling definitions of success.
You become an example of what's possible when someone has the courage to chart their own course. This is perhaps one of the most significant contributions you can make to the world—showing others that there are many paths to a fulfilling life and that success doesn't have to look the same for everyone.
What motivates you most?
Proving doubters wrong
Creating a better life for family
Leaving a meaningful legacy
Personal growth and learning
Your Next Steps to Success
As you reflect on your own relationship with success, remember that it's never too late to redefine what it means in your life. Whether you're just starting your career, in the middle of a major life transition, or looking back on decades of experiences, you have the power to align your actions with your authentic values and aspirations.
Start where you are, with what you have. Success isn't about having the perfect circumstances or waiting until everything falls into place. It's about making the most of your current situation while working steadily toward your goals.
Be patient with yourself as you navigate this journey. Real, lasting success takes time to build, and there will inevitably be setbacks and detours along the way. That's not evidence that you're doing something wrong—it's simply part of the human experience.
Most importantly, remember that your version of success is just as valid and valuable as anyone else's. You don't need to justify your goals or apologize for your priorities. The world needs people who are passionate about different things, who value different aspects of life, and who contribute their unique gifts in their own distinctive ways.
The Journey Never Ends
As you close this article and return to your day, carry with you the understanding that success is not a destination you arrive at, but a way of traveling through life. It's about becoming the person you want to be while contributing positively to the world around you.
Your success story is still being written, and you hold the pen. Each choice you make, each relationship you nurture, each challenge you face with courage, and each small step you take toward your goals adds another page to that story.
Your time is NOW! Every single day you wait is another day your dreams remain just dreams. You have everything within you to create the success you desire—the only question is: will you choose to unleash it? Stop waiting for permission, stop making excuses, and start writing the success story you were born to live. The world needs what you have to offer, but first, you must believe you're worthy of offering it. Get up, show up, and never give up—your breakthrough is closer than you think!
If this article resonated with you and sparked new insights about your own success journey, I'd love to hear about it! Hit that like button to show your support, drop a comment sharing your personal definition of success or your biggest takeaway, and please share this with someone who needs to read these words today. Your engagement helps us reach more people who are ready to transform their lives and redefine what success means to them. Together, we can create a community of authentic achievers who lift each other up!
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