A Motivation Theory to Try Today

Have you ever wondered why some people seem naturally driven toward ambitious goals while others appear more cautious, focused on avoiding problems? Or perhaps you've noticed that certain motivational strategies work brilliantly for your friends but leave you feeling flat and uninspired? The answer lies in a fascinating aspect of human psychology that most of us never consciously consider—our individual motivational wiring.

We often assume that motivation is a one-size-fits-all phenomenon. We read the same success books, follow the same productivity systems, and wonder why we don't all respond with equal enthusiasm. But the truth is far more nuanced and, once understood, far more empowering. Each of us carries within us a dominant motivational pattern that shapes not just how we pursue our dreams, but how we experience life itself.

This isn't about being weak or strong, optimistic or pessimistic. It's about recognizing the fundamental drive that powers your decision-making engine—and learning to work with it rather than against it.

The Hidden Powers Behind Every Decision

Deep within the field of neuro-linguistic programming lies a profound insight about human motivation that has transformed how psychologists, coaches, and everyday people understand what truly drives us. This concept reveals that we are primarily motivated by one of two fundamental forces: the magnetic pull toward what we desire, or the urgent push away from what we fear or dislike.

Think of these as two different engines running your life. The first engine—what we call the "towards" motivation—is like a rocket ship. It's powered by vision, excitement, and the intoxicating possibility of achievement. People operating from this engine wake up energized by dreams of success, imagining the rewards waiting on the other side of their efforts.

The second engine—the "away-from" motivation—is more like a sophisticated alarm system. It's powered by awareness, caution, and the compelling need to solve problems or escape discomfort. Those operating from this engine are driven by a clear understanding of what they want to avoid, prevent, or leave behind.

Neither engine is superior to the other. Both have created millionaires, transformed lives, and solved complex problems. The magic happens when you understand which engine primarily drives you and learn to fuel it properly.

Which Type of Motivation Are You

Understanding your dominant motivational style begins with honest self-reflection. Consider how you naturally think about major life decisions. When you imagine having unlimited wealth and freedom, what captures your attention first?

Picture yourself with millions of dollars at your disposal. Now, notice which of these scenarios feels more compelling and energizing:

Scenario One: You feel an overwhelming sense of relief and security. The weight of financial stress evaporates from your shoulders. You'll never again have to endure a job that drains your soul or compromise your values for a paycheck. Problems that once seemed insurmountable become easily manageable. You've escaped the anxiety of uncertainty and entered a world of comfort and peace.

Scenario Two: Your dream home becomes reality, complete with every detail you've ever imagined. That perfect car sits in your driveway, and luxury becomes your everyday experience. You can pursue any passion, support any cause, and experience life without limitations. Adventure calls, and you have the freedom to answer.

Pay attention to your gut reaction. Which scenario made your heart beat a little faster? Which one felt more like "you"? This instinctive response reveals something profound about your psychological wiring.

If the first scenario resonated more deeply—if you felt that sense of relief and security—you likely operate from an "away-from" motivational style. Your engine runs on solving problems, avoiding discomfort, and creating safety.

If the second scenario ignited your imagination—if you felt excited by the possibilities and opportunities—you probably have a "towards" motivational style. Your engine runs on pursuing rewards, achieving goals, and embracing new experiences.

Understanding the TOWARDS Motivation

Those with a dominant "towards" motivation are the dreamers and builders of our world. They possess an almost magnetic attraction to possibilities, seeing opportunities where others see obstacles. These individuals think in terms of what could be rather than what currently is, and this future-focused mindset becomes their greatest asset.

Towards-motivated people are naturally entrepreneurial. They start businesses, create art, and chase dreams that others might consider unrealistic. Their energy comes from envisioning success, and they often possess an infectious enthusiasm that draws others into their vision. They're the ones who say "imagine if we could..." and actually mean it.

In relationships, they're often the ones planning exciting adventures, setting ambitious goals as a couple, or encouraging their partners to dream bigger. They see potential everywhere—in people, in situations, in opportunities that others might overlook.

However, this strength can become a vulnerability when not balanced with practical wisdom. Towards-motivated individuals sometimes become so focused on the destination that they underestimate the journey's challenges. They might leap before they look, assuming obstacles will resolve themselves through sheer determination and positive thinking.

They can also struggle with what psychologists call "arrival syndrome"—the strange emptiness that sometimes follows achieving a major goal. Because their energy comes from the pursuit rather than the possession, they need to constantly set new targets to maintain motivation.

In the workplace, these individuals thrive in roles that involve innovation, sales, leadership, and strategic planning. They excel when given autonomy to pursue big-picture objectives and may become restless in micromanaged environments focused primarily on problem-solving or risk mitigation.

What energizes you most when setting goals

• Imagining the amazing life I'll have when I achieve them
• Thinking about the problems I'll solve by reaching them
• The excitement of the challenge itself
• The security and peace of mind I'll gain

Understanding the AWAY-FROM Motivation

Away-from motivated individuals are the protectors and problem-solvers who keep our world stable and secure. While this might sound less exciting than the towards approach, it's actually incredibly powerful and necessary. These people possess an acute awareness of potential problems and a remarkable ability to prevent disasters before they occur.

Think of them as the immune system of human society. They notice what's wrong, what could go wrong, and what needs to be fixed. This makes them exceptional at risk management, quality control, and creating systems that protect people from harm. They're often the voices of reason in groups, asking the important questions that others might overlook in their enthusiasm.

In personal finance, away-from motivated people typically excel at budgeting, saving, and making prudent investment decisions. They're less likely to fall for get-rich-quick schemes because their radar is constantly scanning for potential problems.

In relationships, they're often the ones ensuring practical needs are met, remembering important details, and creating stability for their families. They might be the partner who insists on health insurance, emergency funds, and backup plans—seemingly unglamorous contributions that prove invaluable over time.

However, away-from motivation also presents unique challenges. These individuals can become so focused on avoiding problems that they miss opportunities for growth and advancement. They might stay in unsatisfying situations simply because they're "safe," or avoid taking calculated risks that could dramatically improve their lives.

They're also prone to what could be called "comfort zone paralysis." Once they've achieved a reasonable level of security and eliminated the most pressing problems, they may lose motivation entirely. Without discomfort to drive them forward, they can become complacent.

In professional settings, away-from motivated people excel in roles involving analysis, compliance, safety, customer service, and operations. They're the ones who catch errors, prevent accidents, and ensure systems run smoothly.

The Dance Between Two Styles

It's crucial to understand that motivation isn't binary. Every person uses both towards and away-from strategies at different times and in different areas of their lives. You might be towards-motivated in your career but away-from motivated in your health decisions. You could be away-from motivated in financial matters but towards-motivated in relationships.

The goal isn't to box yourself into one category forever, but to recognize your dominant pattern and understand how it influences your decisions. This awareness becomes the foundation for more effective goal-setting, better relationships, and ultimately, a more fulfilling life.

Most importantly, neither style is inherently better than the other. Towards-motivated individuals create innovation and drive progress, while away-from motivated individuals provide stability and prevent disasters. Society needs both types, and the most successful teams and relationships often combine these complementary approaches.

Making Your Motivation Type Work for You

Once you've identified your dominant motivational style, you can begin to work with your natural tendencies rather than against them. This alignment often produces remarkable results with less effort and frustration.

If you're primarily towards-motivated, your pathway to success involves feeding your vision and excitement while building in practical safeguards. Start by creating compelling, detailed pictures of your desired outcomes. Use visualization techniques, vision boards, or any method that helps you see and feel your goals as already achieved.

Set milestone rewards along the way to maintain your momentum. Since you're energized by achievement, break large goals into smaller wins that you can celebrate regularly. Create environments that inspire you—surround yourself with images, quotes, and reminders of what you're working toward.

However, balance this natural optimism with structured planning. Force yourself to consider potential obstacles and create contingency plans. Consider partnering with away-from motivated individuals who can help you spot potential problems you might overlook in your enthusiasm.

Regularly review and refresh your goals. Since towards-motivated people need fresh challenges to maintain energy, don't be afraid to evolve your objectives as you grow and achieve.

If you're primarily away-from motivated, your success strategy involves harnessing your problem-solving nature while pushing yourself toward growth opportunities. Begin by clearly identifying what you want to avoid, prevent, or escape. Write down the specific problems, frustrations, or limitations that you're determined to overcome.

Use your natural analytical skills to break down complex challenges into manageable pieces. Create systems and processes that automatically move you away from undesired situations and toward better ones.

Since you may lose motivation once you reach "comfortable," deliberately create new challenges for yourself. Set minimum standards that require continued growth. For example, if you want to build wealth to avoid financial stress, don't stop at "enough"—continue building to ensure you stay motivated.

Consider the consequences of inaction regularly. Away-from motivated individuals often need to reconnect with the problems they're avoiding to maintain their drive. This isn't about creating anxiety, but about maintaining healthy awareness of what you're working to prevent.

Partner with towards-motivated individuals who can help you see opportunities and possibilities that your problem-focused radar might miss.

The Art of Motivating Others

Understanding these motivational styles transforms not just how you approach your own goals, but how you connect with and influence others. Whether you're a parent, manager, salesperson, or simply someone who wants to build stronger relationships, recognizing others' motivational patterns becomes a superpower.

When communicating with towards-motivated individuals, focus on benefits, opportunities, and positive outcomes. Paint pictures of success and help them envision the rewards of taking action. Use language like "imagine," "achieve," "gain," "opportunity," and "success." Show them what they can build, create, or become.

For example, if you're encouraging a towards-motivated person to exercise, emphasize how great they'll look and feel, the energy they'll gain, the confidence they'll build, and the activities they'll be able to enjoy with improved fitness.

When working with away-from motivated individuals, focus on problems solved, risks eliminated, and comfort preserved. Help them understand what they can avoid, prevent, or escape through taking action. Use language like "avoid," "prevent," "eliminate," "secure," and "protect." Show them what they can fix, solve, or safeguard against.

Using the same exercise example, for an away-from motivated person, emphasize how exercise prevents health problems, reduces stress, eliminates the discomfort of being out of shape, and protects against future medical issues.

The most persuasive communicators learn to identify motivational styles quickly and adjust their approach accordingly. They present the same opportunity in different ways depending on their audience, always speaking to the engine that actually drives the person they're addressing.

Changing How You Talk to Yourself

Perhaps the most powerful application of this understanding lies in how you talk to yourself. The internal conversation you have throughout each day either energizes or deflates your motivation, depending on whether it aligns with your natural wiring.

Towards-motivated individuals need to feed themselves a steady diet of possibility and progress. Your internal dialogue should regularly revisit your goals, celebrate movement forward, and reinforce the exciting outcomes you're working toward. When you catch yourself dwelling on problems or obstacles, gently redirect your attention to solutions and opportunities.

Create internal mantras that energize you: "I'm building something amazing," "Every day brings me closer to my dreams," or "I love the person I'm becoming." Use language that pulls you forward rather than pushes you away from problems.

Away-from motivated individuals need internal dialogue that acknowledges problems while affirming their ability to solve them. Your self-talk should recognize challenges without becoming overwhelmed by them, and focus on the control and security you're creating through your actions.

Develop internal mantras that comfort and motivate you: "I'm solving this step by step," "I'm creating safety and security for myself and my family," or "I'm preventing problems before they become serious." Use language that emphasizes protection, prevention, and problem-solving.

When Opposites Create Success

One of the most effective strategies for long-term success involves partnering with individuals whose motivational style complements yours. These relationships create a natural balance that compensates for each style's inherent blind spots.

Towards-motivated entrepreneurs often benefit from away-from motivated business partners who can spot potential problems and create operational systems. Away-from motivated individuals often benefit from towards-motivated partners who can help them see opportunities and push toward ambitious goals.

In marriages and close friendships, understanding each other's motivational styles prevents countless misunderstandings and conflicts. The towards-motivated partner learns to appreciate their away-from motivated partner's practical concerns rather than dismissing them as "negative thinking." The away-from motivated partner learns to support their towards-motivated partner's dreams rather than focusing solely on potential risks.

These complementary relationships work best when both parties understand and respect each other's natural wiring. Instead of trying to change each other, they learn to leverage their differences as strengths.

The Evolution of Motivation

As you grow and change throughout your life, you may notice shifts in your motivational patterns. Major life events, new responsibilities, or changing circumstances can influence whether you lean more toward or away-from approaches in different areas.

New parents, for example, often find themselves becoming more away-from motivated regarding their children's safety, even if they're naturally towards-motivated in other areas. People who experience significant losses or setbacks may temporarily shift toward away-from motivation as they rebuild security and stability.

These shifts are natural and healthy. They don't represent character flaws or permanent changes to your personality. Instead, they reflect your psychological system adapting to new circumstances and priorities.

The key is maintaining awareness of these changes and adjusting your strategies accordingly. If you notice yourself becoming more problem-focused during a difficult period, that's valuable information about what motivational fuel you currently need. If you find yourself becoming more opportunity-focused as you gain confidence and security, adjust your goal-setting and self-talk to match.

Creating Your Motivation Action Plan

Now that you understand your motivational wiring, it's time to create a practical plan for applying this knowledge. This isn't about completely overhauling your life overnight, but about making small, consistent adjustments that align with your natural tendencies.

Start with awareness. For the next week, pay attention to your natural thought patterns. Notice whether you tend to think about what you want to achieve or what you want to avoid. Observe which types of goals energize you and which feel overwhelming or uninspiring.

Adjust your goal-setting process. If you're towards-motivated, create goals that excite you and paint vivid pictures of achievement. If you're away-from motivated, frame your goals in terms of problems solved or discomforts eliminated. Both approaches can lead to identical outcomes, but the framing makes all the difference in your motivation levels.

Modify your environment. Surround yourself with reminders that speak to your motivational style. Towards-motivated individuals might benefit from vision boards, inspiring quotes, or images of their desired outcomes. Away-from motivated individuals might benefit from reminders of what they're working to prevent or systems that help them stay organized and secure.

Experiment with different strategies. Try motivating yourself using both approaches and notice which feels more natural and effective. You might discover that you're more balanced than you initially thought, or that different areas of your life respond to different motivational approaches.

Practice motivating others appropriately. Start noticing other people's motivational patterns and adjusting how you communicate with them. This skill will improve your relationships, make you more persuasive, and help you better support the people you care about.

How This Knowledge Changes Everything

When you begin operating in alignment with your natural motivational wiring, the effects extend far beyond your personal goal achievement. You begin to understand yourself at a deeper level, which leads to greater self-acceptance and confidence. You stop fighting against your own psychology and start working with it.

This understanding also transforms your relationships. You become more patient with people whose motivational style differs from yours, recognizing that they're not being difficult or illogical—they're simply wired differently. You can support towards-motivated friends in their ambitious pursuits without focusing on potential problems, and you can appreciate away-from motivated friends' practical concerns without dismissing them as pessimistic.

In your professional life, this knowledge makes you more effective as both a leader and a team member. You can motivate others more effectively, communicate more persuasively, and contribute to teams in ways that complement rather than conflict with others' natural tendencies.

Perhaps most importantly, you develop what psychologists call "motivational flexibility"—the ability to consciously choose which approach serves you best in any given situation. While you'll always have a natural preference, you become capable of deliberately shifting your focus when circumstances require it.

When you think about your ideal future, what stands out most?

• All the amazing things I'll be able to do and have
• Not having to worry about current problems anymore
• The sense of achievement and success I'll feel
• The comfort and security of knowing I'm protected

A Life Aligned With Your True Self

The beauty of understanding your motivational style lies not in the knowledge itself, but in how that knowledge transforms your daily experience. When you align your approach with your natural wiring, effort feels easier, progress comes more naturally, and you spend less time fighting against yourself.

This doesn't mean life becomes effortless or that you'll never face challenges. It means you'll face those challenges with greater self-awareness, better strategies, and more sustainable motivation. You'll know how to refuel your motivational engine when it starts running low, and you'll recognize when you need to adjust your approach.

Most importantly, you'll develop a deeper appreciation for the unique way your mind works. Instead of trying to force yourself into motivational strategies designed for someone else's psychology, you'll create approaches that honour and leverage your individual wiring.

This is ultimately about more than achieving goals—it's about living authentically, working efficiently, and building relationships based on understanding rather than assumption. It's about recognizing that your motivational style isn't a limitation to overcome, but a strength to harness.

The path forward is simple but not always easy: understand your wiring, align your strategies, and trust your natural motivational intelligence. Your dreams are waiting, and now you have the key to unlocking the drive that will carry you toward them.

The time for wondering is over. The time for waiting has passed. You now hold the key to unlocking a motivation so powerful, so perfectly aligned with who you truly are, that success becomes not just possible—it becomes inevitable. Your dreams aren't too big; your understanding of yourself was simply too small. But that changes today. That changes right now. The person you're meant to become is calling you forward. Will you answer that call? Will you step into the fullness of your potential? The choice is yours, and the moment is now. Your motivated life begins today.

If this article helped you understand yourself better or gave you a new perspective on motivation, I'd love to hear about it! Please like this article, share your biggest insight in the comments below, and pass it along to someone who could benefit from discovering their motivational style. Your engagement helps these ideas reach more people who need them, and together we can build a community of individuals living their most motivated lives.