"So far as I know, anything worth hearing is not usually uttered at seven o'clock in the morning; and if it is, it will generally be repeated at a more reasonable hour for a larger and more wakeful audience."

"All the mistakes I ever made were when I wanted to say 'No' and said 'Yes'."

"Charity in the theater begins and ends with those who have a play opening within a week of one's own."

"Nobody bores any man as much as an unhappy female."