"Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years."

"When my mother had to get dinner for 8 she'd just make enough for 16 and only serve half."

"The President of today is just the postage stamp of tomorrow."

"Brains, integrity, and force may be all very well, but what you need today is Charm. Go ahead and work on your economic programs if you want to, I'll develop my radio personality."

"This used to be a government of checks and balances. Now it's all checks and no balances."

"When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half."