"Defeat the fear of death and welcome the death of fear."

"If I can go from burglar for the government to talk show host, you can go from entertainer to congressman."

"Why is it there are so many more horses' asses than there are horses?"

"They were afraid, never having learned what I taught myself: Defeat the fear of death and welcome the death of fear."

"The press is like the peculiar uncle you keep in the attic - just one of those unfortunate things."

"Obviously crime pays, or there'd be no crime."