"I wonder sometimes if manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things."

"Since both its national products, snow and chocolate, melt, the cuckoo clock was invented solely in order to give tourists something solid to remember it by."

"Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they've told you what you think it is you want to hear."

"Television is more interesting than people. If it were not we should have people standing in the corner of our room."