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Quentin Crisp

"When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?"

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"When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?"

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"To know God better is only to realize how impossible it is that we should ever know him at all. I know not which is more childish to deny him, or define him."

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"The gods are watching, but idly, yawning."

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"Reason is God's crowning gift to man."

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"If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent Him."

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"The reader becomes God, for all textual purposes. I see your eyes glazing over, so I'll hush."

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"It is quite true, as some poets said, that the God who created man must have had a sinister sense of humor, creating him a reasonable being, yet forcing him to take this ridiculous posture, and driving him with blind craving for this ridiculous performance."

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Quentin Crisp
"There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse."
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"Nothing more rapidly inclines a person to go into a monastery than reading a book on etiquette. There are so many trivial ways in which it is possible to commit some social sin."
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Quentin Crisp
"Vice is its own reward. It is virtue which, if it is to be marketed with consumer appeal, must carry Green Shield stamps."
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Quentin Crisp
"An autobiography is an obituary in serial form with the last installment missing."
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Quentin Crisp
"The British do not expect happiness. I had the impression, all the time that I lived there, that they do not want to be happy; they want to be right."
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Quentin Crisp
"For flavor, instant sex will never supersede the stuff you have to peel and cook."
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Quentin Crisp
"For an introvert his environment is himself and can never be subject to startling or unforeseen change."
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Quentin Crisp
"I recommend limiting one's involvement in other people's lives to a pleasantly scant minimum."
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Quentin Crisp
"Sex is the last refuge of the miserable."
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Quentin Crisp
"The poverty from which I have suffered could be diagnosed as "Soho" poverty. It comes from having the airs and graces of a genius and no talent."
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