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"To make dollars from cents you have to have sense."
Author Name
Personal Development
"A drunkard would not give money to sober people. He said they would only eat it, and buy clothes and send their children to school with it."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Nothing induces me to read a novel except when I have to make money by writing about it. I detest them."
Author Name
Personal Development
"To understand someone, find out how he spends his money."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Egoism and Money [Goddess of wealth; Lakshmi] are very much at odds [have great enmity]. There should be just enough egoism to accomplish one's work. Beyond that, any expanded egoism and money have great enmity. Money (Lakshmi) stays away from it."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Money cannot buy you love. But it sure can buy you things that some people will love you for having."
Author Name
Personal Development
"When a fellow says, "It ain't the money but the principle of the thing," it's the money."
Author Name
Personal Development
"If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn't have to advertise them."
Author Name
Personal Development
"All about the fucking money... money... money... thinking it's for the good for your generation... but so far it's neither and for that and neither and for that... It's mostly for the worst of your generation and other's generations."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life."
Life
"The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent."
Talent
"Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38."
People
"And now it looks like I'm probably going to shoot a movie that I wrote. I got the money to do it, and I would star and all, because of being on Howard."
Money
"When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life."
Life
"By the time I am Howard's age I hope to be long retired. I don't plan on working that long."
Age
"The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation."
Drink
"A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian."
Christian
"It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world."
Funny
"I'm not going to lie to you fellas, I've been drinking."
Lie
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