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"This is our lance. See, you're making me laugh about this now, because there have been a few jokes on the set about what they actually look like. But, see, I personally think they'd be a great toy. So... just batteries aren't included."
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"My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy of my jokes in a lot of British comics' heads, where they are safe."
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Personal Development
"I don't consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes."
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Personal Development
"I never believe them when they say that because you really have to sort of be aware of what's going on in the news in order to get the jokes on the show."
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Personal Development
"I guess they're tough jokes. But there's lots of things you either laugh or cry at. And you just can't cry."
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Personal Development
"You're gonna be like Aquaman? she asked. "Get the fish to fight for you?"Thanks, Percy said. "I haven't heard enough Aquaman jokes for one lifetime."
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Personal Development
"I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one."
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Personal Development
"I've always been terrible on regular sitcoms with lots of jokes. I don't know how to tell jokes."
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Personal Development
"Leo. Jason said, you're wierd. Yeah, you tell me that a lot. Leo grinned. But if you don't remember me, that means I can reuse all my old jokes. Come on!"
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Personal Development
"You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic."
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Personal Development
"In New York there isn't that weird palpable competitive thing where it's friendly but everyone isn't trying to top one another with jokes when you're just hanging around."
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"It doesn't matter how successful you are in this business, it's tough to get through the next door."
Business
"The funny thing about television is that once you start to do it you never get time to watch it."
Funny
"This is our lance. See, you're making me laugh about this now, because there have been a few jokes on the set about what they actually look like. But, see, I personally think they'd be a great toy. So... just batteries aren't included."
Jokes
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