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"This is our lance. See, you're making me laugh about this now, because there have been a few jokes on the set about what they actually look like. But, see, I personally think they'd be a great toy. So... just batteries aren't included."
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"I'm not a standup. I don't really have jokes. I don't have 10 minutes. It took a while for me to realize this."
"In New York there isn't that weird palpable competitive thing where it's friendly but everyone isn't trying to top one another with jokes when you're just hanging around."
"There's a few tunes of mine that don't have jokes, but most of them have a joke and they have a humorous point of view somewhere."
"I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once."
"I guess they're tough jokes. But there's lots of things you either laugh or cry at. And you just can't cry."
"I don't consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes."
"I'm not Mr. Debonair Suave. I'm just a regular boy who goofs around, pulls pranks, and makes jokes. That doesn't sound very hot to me."
"You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic."
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"This is our lance. See, you're making me laugh about this now, because there have been a few jokes on the set about what they actually look like. But, see, I personally think they'd be a great toy. So... just batteries aren't included."
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