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"I will say further, as an officer of an enormous international conglomerate, that nobody who is doing well in this economy ever even wonders waht is really going on.We are chimpanzees. We are orangutans."
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"Punctuality is the thief of time."
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Personal Development

"I come here with no expectations, only to profess, now that I am at liberty to do so, that my heart is and always will be...yours."
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Personal Development

"Satire is a lesson, parody is a game."
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Personal Development

"Oh, brothers! I don't care for brothers. My elder brother won't die, and my younger brothers seem never to do anything else."
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Personal Development

"I picked up one of the books and flipped through it. Don't get me wrong, I like reading. But some books should come with warning labels: Caution: contains characters and plots guaranteed to induce sleepiness. Do not attempt to operate heavy machinery after ingesting more than one chapter. Has been known to cause blindness, seizures and a terminal loathing of literature. Should only be taken under the supervision of a highly trained English teacher. Preferably one who grades on the curve."
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Personal Development

"I'm just trying to portray what I find ironic or humorous."
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Personal Development

"Carnal embrace is the practice of throwing one's arms around a side of beef."
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Personal Development

"What are you doing in a fast lane, snail?"
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Personal Development

"He wondered reflectively what would happen if you asked a nun where the Gents was. Probably the Pope sent you a sharp note or something."
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Personal Development

"Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy."
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Personal Development
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"A society, on occasion, can be the worst possible describer of mental health."
Society

"What is my definition of jazz? 'Safe sex of the highest order."
Music

"When a person dies he only appears to die. He is still very much alive in the past, so it is very silly for people to cry at his funeral. All moment, past, present, future, always have existed, always will exist."
Death

"What made marriage so difficult back then was yet again that instigator of so many other sorts of heartbreak: the oversize brain."
Relationship

"There is nothing left of him but curiosity and a pair of eyes."
Observation

"What he meant, of course, was that there would always be wars, that they were as easy to stop as glaciers. I believe that, too.And even if wars didn't keep coming like glaciers, there would still be plain old death."
War

"That is a very Earthling question to ask, Mr. Pilgrim. Why you? Why us for that matter? Why anything? Because this moment simply is. Have you ever seen bugs trapped in amber?''Yes' Billy, in fact, had a paperweight in his office which was a blob of polished amber with three ladybugs embedded in it.'Well, here we are, Mr. Pilgrim, trapped in the amber of this moment. There is no why."
Existence

"It pains me even now, even a million years later, to write about such human misbehaviour.A million years later, I feel like apologizing for the human race. That's all I can say."
Morality

"Things stayed peaceful in there, even as the crashing vehicles and the cries of the injured and dying reached a crescendo outside. "I fry mine in butter!" indeed."
Life

"Human beings will be happier - not when they cure cancer or get to Mars or eliminate racial prejudice or flush Lake Erie but when they find ways to inhabit primitive communities again. That's my utopia."
Society
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