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"Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated. A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want to be just one of the boys."
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"Often people display a curious respect for a man drunk, rather like the respect of simple races for the insane... There is something awe-inspiring in one who has lost all inhibitions."
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"It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other."
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"There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating - people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing."
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"Do you genuinely love people? Or at least make an effort to like them? Your first impressions will be made easier and more successful when you start with your heart."
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"People do not understand what a great revenue economy is."
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"People don't want their lives fixed. Nobody wants their problems solved. Their dramas. Their distractions. Their stories resolved. Their messed cleaned up. Because what would they have left? Just the big scary unknown."
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"People will not remember what you did for living,they will remember how you touched them with kindness and loving."
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"Most people die of a sort of creeping common sense, and discover when it is too late that the only things one never regrets are one's mistakes."
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"The real problem is not why some pious, humble, believing people suffer, but why some do not."
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"He makes people pleased with him by making them first pleased with themselves."
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Explore more quotes by Andy Rooney
"The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong."
Chance
"Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens."
Happiness
"People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe."
Truth
"I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it comes in the mail next month. If you don't return the form the area you live in might get less government money and you wouldn't want that to happen, would you."
Government
"The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread."
Government
"Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives."
People
"As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we try the phone book."
Humor
"Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of people they wish they were one of."
People
"Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter."
Meaning
"Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television. It's sort of a combination of gymnastics and ballet. A little sexy too which doesn't hurt."
Sports
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