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Andy Rooney

"Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated. A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want to be just one of the boys."

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"Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated. A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want to be just one of the boys."

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"Often people display a curious respect for a man drunk, rather like the respect of simple races for the insane... There is something awe-inspiring in one who has lost all inhibitions."

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"The last resort of kings, the cannonball. The last resort of the people, the paving stone."

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"It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other."

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"There are bad people who would be less dangerous if they were quite devoid of goodness."

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"Whatever good things people say of us, they tell us nothing new."

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"I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal."

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"There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating - people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing."

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"Stephen King in many respects is a wonderful writer. He has made a contribution. People in the future will be able to pick up Stephen King's books and learn a lot about who we were by reading those books."

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"We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones."

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"Historians are like deaf people who go on answering questions that no one has asked them."

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"Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter."
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"The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was worth every nickel of it because by doing this lame piece about the game I can put it on my expense account."
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"I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran."
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"All men are not created equal but should be treated as though they were under the law."
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"Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done."
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"Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose."
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"When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper."
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"The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians."
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"As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we try the phone book."
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"Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens."
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