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Andy Rooney

"Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated. A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want to be just one of the boys."

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"Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated. A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want to be just one of the boys."

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"Among those people lucky enough, if you will, to have actually been brought to trial as a political prisoner, several historians have said there has not been one acquittal since the Bolshevik Revolution."

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"The worst kind of lying I've ever done is keeping things from people."

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"It is often said that the magnitude of a people is measured by their ability to know how to win."

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"Like it or not, the people of Arkansas sent me to Washington to represent them in this great body."

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"People are essentially red meat. They are."

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"I am not afraid of aging, but more afraid of people's reactions to my aging."

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"The revolution is like a vessel filled with the pulsating heartbeat of millions of working people."

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"I met with people who are already very angry with the tribunal."

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"Lots of people talk to animals... Not very many listen, though... That's the problem."

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"The people of our state will no longer tolerate advocates of treason."

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"The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was worth every nickel of it because by doing this lame piece about the game I can put it on my expense account."
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"As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we try the phone book."
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"I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting."
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"I don't think the government is out to get me or help someone else get me but it wouldn't surprise me if they were out to sell me something or help someone else sell me something. I mean, why else would the Census Bureau want to know my telephone number?"
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Andy Rooney
"Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens."
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"Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose."
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"Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of people they wish they were one of."
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"The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians."
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"Elephants and grandchildren never forget."
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"Death is a distant rumor to the young."
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