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"I read a funny story about how the Republicans freed the slaves. The Republicans are the ones who created slavery by law in the 1600's. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves and he was not a Republican."
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"Fun is a good thing but only when it spoils nothing better."
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Personal Development
"I think being funny is not anyone's first choice."
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Personal Development
"Great, big, serious novels always get awards. If it's a battle between a great, big, serious novel and a funny novel, the funny novel is doomed."
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Personal Development
"Tell me that the purpose of life is to have fun, and without a care in the world I'll begin wreaking havoc on everything I pass. Now that's what I call pure, honest fun."
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Personal Development
"Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny - Did you ever try buying then without money?"
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Personal Development
"I have a lot of fun with guns, especially the M-16, but my favourite is my little .22. It fits nicely in the palm of your hand. I do limit myself to blanks."
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Personal Development
"I think it's more fun to play a hero with an edge."
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Personal Development
"It's fun leading this offense. I don't think we've hit our peak."
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Personal Development
"You can parody and make fun of almost anything, but that does not turn the universe into a caricature."
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Personal Development
"But a funny thing happened four years later. I was invited to play for an alumni team against the Red Wings."
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"First, it was not a strip bar, it was an erotic club. And second, what can I say? I'm a night owl."
Nightlife
"I am making this trip to Africa because Washington is an international city, just like Tokyo, Nigeria or Israel. As mayor, I am an international symbol. Can you deny that to Africa?"
Politics
"People blame me because these water mains break, but I ask you, if the water mains didn't break, would it be my responsibility to fix them then?"
People
"I promise you a police car on every sidewalk."
Car
"I read a funny story about how the Republicans freed the slaves. The Republicans are the ones who created slavery by law in the 1600's. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves and he was not a Republican."
Fun
"People have criticised me because my security detail is larger than the president's. But you must ask yourself: are there more people who want to kill me than who want to kill the president? I can assure you there are."
People
"If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very very low crime rate."
Crime
"I am clearly more popular than Reagan. I am in my third term. Where's Reagan? Gone after two! Defeated by George Bush and Michael Dukakis no less."
Politics
"The brave men who died in Vietnam, more than 100% of which were black, were the ultimate sacrifice."
Man
"The laws in this city are clearly racist. All laws are racist. The law of gravity is racist."
Power
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