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"I always have awkward relationships with the ladies for whatever reason. I don't know and so here we are. I was able to sort of take all of those terrible, terrible, terrible dates and turn them into a money making venture."
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"Money cannot buy you love. But it sure can buy you things that some people will love you for having."

"The Bible does not say money is the root of all evil; it says the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. A poor man who, in his heart, worships the idea of being rich is more vulnerable to its evils than a rich man who has a heart to use it all for the Lord."

"A drinker has a hole under his nose that all his money runs into."

"Put not your trust in money, but put your money in trust."
Explore more quotes by Jason Segel

"I've just grown a little disappointed with 'Muppets in the Old West', 'Muppets Under Water' and all these weird concept movies. I just want to go take it back to the early 80's, when it was about the Muppets trying to put on a show. That's what I'm trying to bring back."

"I have a similar issue with people who hire me as I do with women. 'You have to have a particular taste to want to be around me. I have a slightly askew view."

"There were some super-lean years, yeah. I'm six feet four. And I entered into this period all of a sudden when I was too big to play a kid and I was too young to play an adult. Like, I couldn't play the lawyer, but I couldn't play the high school kid anymore."

"I sold my first script when I was 21 - this kids' adventure movie that never got made. I just bought that one back, actually. I'm pretty psyched about it."

"I was making out with this woman, and my shirt was off, and she leaned over and, in a really cute, girly voice, went, 'Hey, fatty!'"

"You guys own the Muppets, and you're just kind of sitting on 'em. I really love the Muppets, and I think I know how to bring the franchise back."

"Kermit was the Everyman, the original Tom Hanks, but I have a special place in my heart for Fozzie Bear. The classic borderline hacky entertainer."

"I always have awkward relationships with the ladies for whatever reason. I don't know and so here we are. I was able to sort of take all of those terrible, terrible, terrible dates and turn them into a money making venture."
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