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"Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself."
Time
"As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job."
Home
"A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego."
Mom
"My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel."
War
"Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with."
Woman
"The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest."
Heart
"I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I've done my job."
Home
"I figure if my kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done my job."
Day
"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it."
Woman
"I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and I feel they should all worship me. That's what I told my kids. I think I must have been Adolf Hitler in a past life."
Life
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"Single women have a dreadful propensity for being poor. Which is one very strong argument in favor of matrimony."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It sometimes happens that a woman is handsomer at twenty-nine than she was ten years before."
Author Name
Personal Development
"There are few virtuous women who are not bored with their trade."
Author Name
Personal Development
"All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The faces of most American women over thirty are relief maps of petulant and bewildered unhappiness."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm always rather nervous about how you talk about women who are active in politics, whether they want to be talked about as women or as politicians."
Author Name
Personal Development
"We say that slavery has vanished from European civilization, but this is not true. Slavery still exists, but now it applies only to women and its name is prostitution."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Whether they give or refuse, it delights women just the same to have been asked."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I hate women because they always know where things are."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Alas, I am a woman friendless, hopeless!"
Author Name
Personal Development
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