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"I don't consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes."
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"Our show was - it remained - you know, kids could watch it and laugh at it. And they wouldn't know - they wouldn't get the jokes. But they would laugh at it. So they tell me now they have grown up and they're watching it. Now they get the jokes. But we didn't say anything blatant."
"In New York there isn't that weird palpable competitive thing where it's friendly but everyone isn't trying to top one another with jokes when you're just hanging around."
"I'm not Mr. Debonair Suave. I'm just a regular boy who goofs around, pulls pranks, and makes jokes. That doesn't sound very hot to me."
"There's a few tunes of mine that don't have jokes, but most of them have a joke and they have a humorous point of view somewhere."
"I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once."
"My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy of my jokes in a lot of British comics' heads, where they are safe."
"Johnny Carson started the jokes about me and Marlin in his monologues."
Explore more quotes by Sandra Bernhard
"When people pay to see you live, they connect with you on a much deeper level than people who just buy your records."
"Unfortunately, most college kids these days aren't coming from any place-they seem to ask the same kind of questions over and over again."
"When you're constantly looking for things from other people, you're not looking within yourself."
"I can't tell you 100 percent what makes a relationship work. But I can see something good coming and I can see something bad coming."
"I'm very much an optimist. I don't think I could do my work if I didn't believe there was some kind of hope for humanity."
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