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"I don't consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes."
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"I never believe them when they say that because you really have to sort of be aware of what's going on in the news in order to get the jokes on the show."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one."
Author Name
Personal Development
"You're gonna be like Aquaman? she asked. "Get the fish to fight for you?"Thanks, Percy said. "I haven't heard enough Aquaman jokes for one lifetime."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Our show was - it remained - you know, kids could watch it and laugh at it. And they wouldn't know - they wouldn't get the jokes. But they would laugh at it. So they tell me now they have grown up and they're watching it. Now they get the jokes. But we didn't say anything blatant."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Johnny Carson started the jokes about me and Marlin in his monologues."
Author Name
Personal Development
"You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic."
Author Name
Personal Development
"This is our lance. See, you're making me laugh about this now, because there have been a few jokes on the set about what they actually look like. But, see, I personally think they'd be a great toy. So... just batteries aren't included."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I've always been terrible on regular sitcoms with lots of jokes. I don't know how to tell jokes."
Author Name
Personal Development
"A civil servant doesn't make jokes."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm not a standup. I don't really have jokes. I don't have 10 minutes. It took a while for me to realize this."
Author Name
Personal Development
More
"There are so few women in general who aren't completely threatened and confused by other women's success. It's very disappointing."
Woman
"When you're constantly looking for things from other people, you're not looking within yourself."
People
"At some point, the pride has to be a part of the whole day-to-day oeuvre. It's part of who you are and doesn't need to be discussed anymore."
Day
"I don't consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes."
Jokes
"When you're watching the news, how many days in a row can you watch that and feel good about yourself and the world?"
News
"I can't tell you 100 percent what makes a relationship work. But I can see something good coming and I can see something bad coming."
Work
"That disturbs people when they know they didn't have the guts or integrity to stick to their dreams."
Dream
"Unfortunately, most college kids these days aren't coming from any place-they seem to ask the same kind of questions over and over again."
College
"I really, really love Hilary Clinton. I think she's very cool. She's out there and she's involved."
Love
"I like the energy of live performance."
Performance
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