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"I don't consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes."
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"At some point, the pride has to be a part of the whole day-to-day oeuvre. It's part of who you are and doesn't need to be discussed anymore."
Day
"I'm very much an optimist. I don't think I could do my work if I didn't believe there was some kind of hope for humanity."
Work
"I really, really love Hilary Clinton. I think she's very cool. She's out there and she's involved."
Love
"I can't tell you 100 percent what makes a relationship work. But I can see something good coming and I can see something bad coming."
Work
"I don't believe in karma."
Karma
"When you're constantly looking for things from other people, you're not looking within yourself."
People
"I've become this sort of icon for the gay community. I don't like the position."
Community
"Unfortunately, most college kids these days aren't coming from any place-they seem to ask the same kind of questions over and over again."
College
"There are so few women in general who aren't completely threatened and confused by other women's success. It's very disappointing."
Woman
"Smut, if it's really smut, there's nothing backing it up. It's the easy way out."
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"Our show was - it remained - you know, kids could watch it and laugh at it. And they wouldn't know - they wouldn't get the jokes. But they would laugh at it. So they tell me now they have grown up and they're watching it. Now they get the jokes. But we didn't say anything blatant."
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Personal Development
"There's a few tunes of mine that don't have jokes, but most of them have a joke and they have a humorous point of view somewhere."
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Personal Development
"I guess they're tough jokes. But there's lots of things you either laugh or cry at. And you just can't cry."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Leo. Jason said, you're wierd. Yeah, you tell me that a lot. Leo grinned. But if you don't remember me, that means I can reuse all my old jokes. Come on!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm not Mr. Debonair Suave. I'm just a regular boy who goofs around, pulls pranks, and makes jokes. That doesn't sound very hot to me."
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Personal Development
"A civil servant doesn't make jokes."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once."
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Personal Development
"I've always been terrible on regular sitcoms with lots of jokes. I don't know how to tell jokes."
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Personal Development
"My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy of my jokes in a lot of British comics' heads, where they are safe."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I don't consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes."
Author Name
Personal Development
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